My Mom raised me by Dr. Spock. My Dad raised me by "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child". All-in-all the carrot and the stick worked better than the carrot alone or the stick alone. I got yelled at only when I wasn't paying attention. I got whipped only when I was defiant or intractable. But I was always aware of the potential consequences. I hated being treated like a child when I was a child, so my folks rewarded me for good behavior by treating me like an adult. When I became petulant, they treated me like a child. I think I grew up a bit faster because of it. I certainly learned how to manipulate my parents with it. Children can be good actors.
Well, once mine got to be mid-teenagers, and they knew everything, I started to call them dumb azzes...kinda like Red on the 70's show. Unfortunately, at 22 and 20 they still are. From my worldview, the outlook is bleak for a speedy recovery.
My youngest turns 10 monday and I can count on one hand how many times i've had to spank him. All I have to do is give him the look and raise my voice slightly and his bottom lip starts to quiver. But once he's calmed down I talk to him about his inappropriate behavior and he changes it. It's getting easier now since all I have to do is take away his ps3, or his ipod, or his kindle... he hates having things taken away.
