I use black powder from a 5.56 round to cauterize my wounds, then staple them shut with a carpenter's stapler.
I should have known that one. I worked for a piping company cutting pipe for 3 years so the welders and fitters could assemble the flanges and what not. I knew I'd seen those before. I suck.
I remember seeing a bumper sticker in the early 1980s that said: "Welders can fill any crack." Somehow your reply reminded me of that.