What are your rules of life?

Doesn't really belong here but here goes anyway:

TOP TEN COUNTRY MUSIC SONG TITLES

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few

8. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

 

Don't drink the water.

Fish phuck in it.

 

We can't leave out that David Allen Coe classic: Cum Stains on My Pillow Where She Used to Lay Her Head .

 

I saw him at the old "Hee Haw" in "Hannuhson".

 

Oh and

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it is just as hard to mow.

 

1.) Dont listen to my friend when it comes to girls! He is 20 and as long as she is hot and at least 15 he is down.....

2.) Take what the doctors say as a grain of salt.

3.) Live life with no regrets.

 

ah, one i learned from a hippie named Colin in the Macullough dorms at USL.

The best bud is a shared one.

 

A pearl of wisdom from my dad:

Never go out with a guy whose butt is wider than his shoulders, for that is a lazy man...

 

:hihi: