The problem with the association of spanking and misbehaving is that you would never know which came first, like the hen or the egg. I find it interesting that we all as adults do remember quite well the spanking(s) we got as kids. So, I do believe that the spankings will have some effect, whether at the time or at a later date; it's a matter of whether the spankings were appropiate with the proper message.
I think one of the important distinctions, much like Red mentioned, is to never spank in anger. The parent absolutely must be in control of his or her emotions before striking. Some parents just hit when they're mad, and I've seen THAT parent in Wal-Mart and other places, as well. I've never raised a hand to either of my two daughters in public. We employ a removal from the scene if there is a problem--and that's few and far between. My husband has a habit of being nitpicky (like the usual "mom" role) in places like restaurants, and that tends to get on my three-year-old's nerves, and she will put up a howl. The most effective thing when that happens is for ME to take her from the table, calm her down (it usually only takes a second or two of low talking), and then bring her back. My husband definitely overreacts more than I do when it comes to parenting our two girls. He's terrified of them doing something to embarrass him. I keep trying to tell him that kids are sometimes embarrassing, but that ours generally don't do that--even though they drive us NUTS while they are running laps around our house.
i OWNED my mom when I was a kid. She'd chase me down the hall to give me a good spanking, and all I had to do was turn around and laugh. She'd start laughing too, and I was off the hook......until dad got home. Seems like I would have learned that if I just took it from mom, I never would have gotten it from dad. I was leaving out the "abuse" type spanking. My best guess (or at least how my childhood was and how I'm raising my 2 sons) is that spanking came when vocal correction and "taking away" toys & stuff wasn't working. Now, I know not all parents are like that, and some jump straight to the spanking.
Well, my old man used to tear our azzes up on a regular basis...far as I know, none of us 7 are perverts...Ok, well with the exception of me and the midgets, but hey...that was only two times, and it was not me who brought the goat OK!!
I was never disciplined in public. I was informed that I was getting a whipping when I got home and I always did. It doesn't take much of this before a stern look got me behaving properly in public.
The general trend I see here, which I completely agree with, is that spanking is a tool to be used, just like many others. And it is all in how it's applied. My personal opinion is that spanking is something you do to a younger child, who is absolutely not yet capable of understanding reason. You spank a 4 year old child who is kicking the dog becuase he does not understand you telling him the dog is hurt when he kicks it. You put a hand on his behind, and he understands: If I kick the dog, I get spanked. I've found that as my kids get older, there is less and less need for it, until there is none at all. I haven't spanked either of my girls (14 and 12) in at least 5 years, I think. My 10 year old son might occasionally get one, although it's been a while for him, too. My 4 year old son gets at least one swat every week (usually just one quick swat on the butt).
You nailed it burl. my boy is seven and gets water boarded at least once a week. Exorcism scheduled for 5pm every Saturday! :shock: I can't wait for 8 to come rolling around. The water bill is through the roof. His howling at the moon, nootch and I are working on it...
