She should've passed you a slap. :hihi: Seriously though, be careful not to send conflicting signals. He's no dummy though, he already learned where the limit was so just shorten it. ASK ONCE, EXPECT COMPLIANCE; otherwise, DUCK lil sucka. :lol:
Make no mistake, she did not think it was as funny as I did. Of course it's hard not to laugh because he is not even 2 yet, it was one of those "had to be there" type things. She kept yelling at me saying, "It's not funny Shane" but the more she would say it, the harder I would laugh because ... well it just was!!
i think if this were the case then people that do not spank their kids have "good" kids. so these parents are genetically superior? i have one kid---2yr old boy. we're trying to discipline him without spanking. i think its possible for spanking to negatively affect some children, so i dont want to take the chance. i think its lazy parenting, too. of course its easy to say with just one kid----and like you said, maybe im lucky and got a well-behaved one. i dont know how people have any more than that. so far it seems to be working, but there is a loooooooong way to go.
I listend to this conversation on WWL for about 2 hours last night. I think it's just part of the way we (I'm 38) were raised. I know if I did today what my parents did to me when I was 8 I'd be on the 6 O'clock news and probably in jail. Was it abuse? Honestly, could be questionable, after all that Sh*t hurt like hell, but I knew what not to do anymore. Would I do it to my kids today, absolutely not, at least not to that degree. Bobby Hebert had a good point on the radio. He was talking about the famous "time outs" and if you put your child in the corner, what do you do if he/she won't stay in the corner? What then? Tons of answers, I guess?
That is a bunch of BS. Most people were spanked when they were children. The problem with the "study" probably lies in the inability of Gershoff to distinguish between spanking and abuse. Virtually everyone I know was spanked as children and none of them turned out to be perverts or anti-social types. The "study" probably was flawed in its methodology.
I was spanked more by my mom than my dad, and I actually respected my dad's punishment much more than my mom's. I can only remember two or three times EVER that my dad spanked me, but it did make a lasting impression. My dad had a way of just be disappointed in me, and that worked beautifully because I wanted his approval. I have, at times, spanked my daughters, but it's few and far between. Basically, they are good kids, and if they drive me crazy while we're at home, I know that they are usually pretty good when I take them out in public. I figure that's what counts the most.
Absolutely, isn't that the truth! But I do spanking does have a place in a child's upbringing. I believe it will lose its effectiveness if overused; but it does help to "hammer" the message in when used appropiately. I find that when a kid gets older and starts to have a bit of reasoning ability, that's when you start holding off the firepower until when absolutely necessary. I see kids that have temper tandrums as little "animals" with their ids out of control. They need to be popped for sure, but not do it to the extent that they get rev'ed up even more. Whether the individual is physically abusive or violent I believe is more of a function of the individual's personal makeup, and also the environment/family the person was being brought up in. I do no believe "controlled" spanking would do that; however, anything excessive, as Red alluded to, is no good and surely can warp one's psyche.
The article said spanked "frequently". I would think percentage wise, the kids spanked most frequently, were the worst behaved of the group. And naturally, now that they're adults, the ones misbehaving, are the ones who misbehaved most as kids. Don't know about genetically superior parents, I think it's more "luck of the draw". As kids, my lil sister was always a much quieter and better behaved child than me and my older sister. So yes, me and my older sister got spanked more often than her. Now that were all adults, it is still pretty much the same way. She's 25 and has yet to get so much as a speeding ticket. While my older sister and I have each had our own run ins with authorities.
I have a friend in Baton Rouge whose kid with learning disability kept on being picked on physically by a bully at Redemptorist high school. When the kid was confronted by the dad and warned not to pick on his kid any more, this brat even tried to hit the adult! My friend couldn't believe it when he tried to talk with the brat's mom who just acknowledged that that is the way kids are these days growing up and not considering taking much action; the kid was seen yelling at his mom in the car after being picked up from school. My point with this shaggy dog story is that this is the kind of upbringing that might turn up sociopaths where they prob spared the rod and lacked instillation of any moral values.
Yeah, I was the same way. My mom would act like she was spanking me (she couldn't kill a fly) and then she would throw out the ....WAIT TIL YOUR DAD GETS HOME! That's what really got me scared. Dad don't take no $HiT from anyone! And if mom's not happy, nobody's happy! As a parent now (boy 11, girl 9, girl 4) it almost works the same way. All I have to do is 'give the look' to the kids and they know I mean business. Now my wife can fly off the hook and go insane (yelling and carrying on) and the kids look at her as if she is going insane! I have maybe spanked my kids a few times, but damn, I feel so bad that I have to go talk to them and explain why I did what I did. I always get the 'I'm sorry daddy, I love you' at the end. Parenting is sooo damn cool! :thumb:
