New Joke Thread

Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by red55, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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  2. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    The best way to cook broccoli is to throw it away and order a pizza.
     
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  3. mctiger

    mctiger closet claustrophic Staff Member

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    [​IMG] Alex Lifeson, funniest man in rock and roll.
     
  4. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village Staff Member

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    But who are the other two?
     
  5. KyleK

    KyleK Who, me? Staff Member

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    I love broccoli
     
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  6. mctiger

    mctiger closet claustrophic Staff Member

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    Meme people
     
  7. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village Staff Member

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    So not you?

    I think its you
     
  8. mctiger

    mctiger closet claustrophic Staff Member

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    Not me...damn, if I'd been that close to the stage I'd post 20 pictures a day in here.
     
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  9. HalloweenRun

    HalloweenRun I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter!

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    A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

    "Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
    Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

    Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

    Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?
     
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  10. mctiger

    mctiger closet claustrophic Staff Member

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    An office manager had a problem; money was tight and he would have to lay off one of his employees, either Jack or Jill. But both were equally good at their jobs. On the morning he had to make a move, he decided he'd lay off one if he or she showed up for work late. But both arrived early. Then he decided he'd let the first one to take a coffee break go. Neither took a break. He watched their lunch times, deciding he'd lay off the one that stayed out longer. But both ate lunch at their desks while continuing to work. Then they both stayed late. The boss was stumped. Finally, Jill put on her coat and headed for the door. The boss approached her and said, "Jill, I have a problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off." Jill said,"You better jack off. I don't want to miss my bus."
     

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