This guy was sitting by himself at the beach, his friend went over and asked why he looked so depressed. "It's women,.. they just aren't interested in me". The friend said, "I know a little trick,.. put a potato in your swim trunks and that'll make the women notice you". Later his friend saw the guy all alone again and went over to ask why,.. " I did what you said, but it just didn't help, they like me even less than before". The guy looked at him and said, "I see the problem, you're supposed to put the potato in the front".
My wife told that having sex with me is like riding a rollercoaster- It's over real quick and then she wants to throw up.
A guy goes into a bar down in Louisiana where there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” The robot brings back his drink and says to the guy, “What’s your IQ?” The guy decides to “fudge it a little” and says,” 168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology. The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” Again, the robot brings the guy his drink and says, “What’s your IQ?” This time he decides to just tell him the truth and the guy says, “100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints, and LSU Tigers. The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try this robot bartender one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey,” and the robot brings him his whiskey. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50”. The robot leans in real close to him and whispers, "Roll Tide".
Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled. The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch. Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurans an' you goes to Afghanistan an' gets youself killed, da govment' pays you benefishery $20,000. If you takes out da suppmental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a munt, den da governmen' gots ta pay you benefishery $400,000! "Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first?
My wife went to the doctor and came back and she said the doctor told her not to have sex for a month.... So I asked her, "What did the dentist tell you" ????
