New Joke Thread

Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by red55, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. GiantDuckFan

    GiantDuckFan O the Joy

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2011
    Messages:
    5,274
    Likes Received:
    2,377
    School Counselor: "Eric, where do you see yourself in five years ?"
    Eric: takes out his iPhone,.. "Siri, where do I see myself in five years ?"
     
    el005639 and HalloweenRun like this.
  2. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Messages:
    30,900
    Likes Received:
    9,640
    This morning I went to Dennys for breakfast. I asked the waiter for a number one and he came over and peed on me.
     
  3. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Messages:
    30,900
    Likes Received:
    9,640
    Elephant to Camel - Why are your breasts on your back? - Camel - That's an inappropriate question from somebody whose dick is on his face.
     
    HalloweenRun, shane0911 and el005639 like this.
  4. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Messages:
    30,900
    Likes Received:
    9,640
    Q. What is the one food that causes women to lose their sex drive?

    A. Wedding cake
     
    el005639 likes this.
  5. mctiger

    mctiger closet claustrophic Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
    Messages:
    13,188
    Likes Received:
    4,416
    Hiyoooooooooah!
     
  6. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Messages:
    30,900
    Likes Received:
    9,640
  7. LSUpride123

    LSUpride123 Boobies make everything A OK!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2008
    Messages:
    16,225
    Likes Received:
    4,917
    What is Red but yet can't be seen?
     
  8. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Messages:
    30,900
    Likes Received:
    9,640
    Rex
     
  9. HalloweenRun

    HalloweenRun I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter!

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2009
    Messages:
    4,927
    Likes Received:
    2,640
    Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

    "Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?" "Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.

    "Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?"

    "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."

    "Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?"

    "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat'em!"

    "Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?"

    "I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.

    "Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Democrat, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."
     
    el005639 and shane0911 like this.
  10. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Messages:
    30,900
    Likes Received:
    9,640
    Q. How do you get a nun pregnant?
    A. Dress her up as an alter boy.
     
    el005639 and GiantDuckFan like this.

Share This Page