Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by red55, Dec 13, 2006.
I stopped watching after the first few Kutcher episodes.
A young woman brought her fiancée home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancée to his study for a talk. "So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man. "I am a biblical scholar," he replied
"A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?" "I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiance.
The conversation proceeded like this . . . and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?” The father answered, "He's a Democrat. He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm God."
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
A panda walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a sandwich. When he finishes the sandwich he pulls out a gun and shoots holes in the ceiling.
The bartender yells and asks him what the hell he is doing. Pand says "I'm a panda." Bartender asks what does that have to do with it.
Panda pulls out his phone and googles panda.
He shows the bartender and says "See. It says it right here.
Panda. A large mammal resembling a bear. Eats shoots and leaves."