New Joke Thread ... it's time for one

Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by red55, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. watson1880

    watson1880 Founding Member

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    A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing??"

    The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”

    "And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.

    “Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body."

    The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”

    "These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet."

    "So tell me then," added the boy.

    "Yes, my son…”

    "Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this bollocks?
     
  2. GiantDuckFan

    GiantDuckFan O the Joy

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    ... a guy was at a busy beach, girl watching, enjoying the nice day,.. he notices his friend sitting on a log by himself looking upset,.. "what's the matter buddy, why the long face?"... "women, that's what, they totally ignore me, just aren't interested in me",.. "oh,. well, I know a trick that'll help you,. put a potato in your shorts, that'll get the girls attention"

    ... the next day he sees his friend again, standing alone on the beach, looking miserable,.. "what's up buddy, now what's wrong?",.. "women!.. I did what you told me, but the girls avoid me more than ever",.. "ah,. I see the problem, you're supposed to put the potato in the front"
     
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  3. HalloweenRun

    HalloweenRun I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter!

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    Damn, that joke is both disgusting and old, but I am laughing like a MOFO!
     
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  4. onceanlsufan

    onceanlsufan Veteran Member

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    An Alabama couple had 9 children and went to the doctor to get Bubba fixed. The doctor while happily performing the procedure asked them what made them decide to do this after they had already had 9 children. The couple replied that they had heard that 1 in 10 babies born in The US were Mexican, and since they already had 9, they didn’t want to take the chance that the 10th baby would be born Mexican because neither one of them knew how to speak Spanish.
     
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  5. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village Staff Member

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    Not so much a joke but a funny line.

    Watching two and a half men

    Alan talking to Charlie about getting a hooker

    Charlie : your going to need about a thousand dollars

    Alan: what can I get for $200

    Charlie: Crabs

    That shit was funny
     
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  6. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    Is that the one where Alan says "She's got a pretty name?"

    Charlie: They all have pretty names, Alan. You'll never meet a hooker named Maude.
     
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  7. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village Staff Member

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    Yes
     
  8. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james

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    The therapist chick has the best lines bc she destroys Charlie. And Berta of course. Zippy still cracks me up.

    Then Ashton and Alan got married and that was all she wrote.
     
  9. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village Staff Member

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    That was some of the best writing whenever he was on that couch
     
  10. mctiger

    mctiger RIP, and thanks for the music Staff Member

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    True story from the recording session of "We Are The World" (today is the anniversary of that 1985 recording session). Before they started, Stevie Wonder announced to the group that if they didn't get the song in one take, he and Ray Charles would be driving everyone home.
     
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