From this month's Playboy Party jokes: A woman buys a pair of crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend. When he gets home from work, he finds her laying in bed, spread eagle, with nothing on but her new panties. 'Come on over here, baby', she said. 'No way', said the boyfriend backing away. 'If your <slang for female genitalia> can do that to your panties, I'm not going anywhere near it'.
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee . . . The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for a position in United States Congress . . . Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."
My car broke down the other night. I called a friend. He asked where was I. I ssid "Martin Luther King Blvd. What should I do?" He said Run.
The following is true: Grocery shopping this morning. A man walked up to me, offered his hand and asked if I was the guy from the TV station. I said yes sir. He says,"The other day, I was cutting the grass and my neighbor walked up to me and says,'You cutting the grass?' I said, 'No, my lawn mower was looking a little out of shape, so I'm taking it for a walk." Then he walked away. I guess he was auditioning?
