Well, the other 99% can enjoy cheering their team in the Kleenex We're Just Jealous Little Pussies Bowl played in East Bumfrick, Oklahoma or some boring place like that.

I don't see that they'd be complaining if it was Okie vs. Okie St. in the same scenario. They're just pounding on this 'cause it's the SEC and they're just envious little be-atches that their teams aren't in a conference as good as ours.

I heard a little red shirted dwarf sat on his lap and gave him a lap dance

Uh, pretty much. And I am one of the apparent few who is especially enjoying it.