How do you get an Alabama graduate off of your front doorstep? Pay him for the pizza! Tigers 31 elephants 0 :geaux:
three more Q: What does the La. Dept of Waste do when it is through with a garbage truck? A: Clean it, paint it, and sell it to an Alabama fan as a Winnebago. Q: Why did the Bama man marry the cow? A: He had to. Q: Why don't they teach sex ed and driver ed at Alabama? A: They don't want the mule to get too tired!
Once there were 3 guys walking down the beach. An LSU grad, an Auburn grad, and a Bama grad. They came upon a bottle buried halfway in the sand and the Auburn grad picked it up and said "look, its one of those bottles with a genie inside". The LSU grad said "lets rub it and see what happens". The Bama grad says "why not", so they rub the bottle and sure enough a genie appears. The genies voice booms "I will grant you 3 wishes but since there are 3 of you this means you will only have one wish each. The 3 guys think a minute and the Auburn grad speaks first and says "since i love Auburn University so much, I would like to see a wall built around the campus so we could let only those in we want and so we can feel safe from all outsiders, especially those Crimson Tiders". The genie exclaims "it is done" and a wall magically appeared around the campus at Auburn. The LSU grad speaks next and says..."you mean to tell me you just put a wall all the way around Auburn University and nobody can get in?". "Yes" the genie replies. So the LSU grad proudly states "Well sheeyit, I like dat idear, I want one dem walls up aroun the LSU campus too". So the genie exclaims again "it is done" and a wall magically appeared around the entire LSU campus....The Bama grad thinks for a minute and asks the genie..."So there are walls around both Auburn U and LSU and nobody can get inside OR outside? The genie replies "you are correct". The Bama grad smiles and tells the genie. "fill those sumbitches with water".
Bubba got two tickets to the LSU-BAMA football game, but no way to get there. He told his buddy, Billy, if he could get transportation for both of them, they would go to the game. So Billy went looking and brought to Bubba a camel. Bubba said "What the heck, let's go Billy! Off they went down the road to Tuscaloosa and along the way people just looked and laughed at them. They finally get to the game on time and decided to tie the camel to a fence so they could find it after the game. LSU kicks BAMA's ass up and down the field all during the game and wins 42-10. Man, Bubba and Billy was sad BAMA lost but worst than that, they had a long ride home ahead on that damn camel. The two dudes finally gets back to the fence where they had tied the camel and what the hell did they find? About 200 camels all tied up side by side. Bubba said, "Billy, how in the hell are we gonna find our camel?" Billy says, "I know!" and begins lifting the tail on each camel. After Billy has done this to a few camels, Bubba says, "Billy, how are you gonna find our camel this way?" Billy says, "Bubba, remember when we were on our way to this football game and this old man pointed at us and laughed real hard? Do you remember what he said?" Bubba said, "No, Billy, I don't remember." Billy said, "The old guy said, 'Look at those two assholes on that camel.' and that's what I'm looking for!"
Q: How do I know that the toothbrush was invented by scientists at the University of Alabama? A: Because if it had been inventented ANYWHERE else (outside of Arkansas), it would have been called a TEETHbrush. Q: Define: Alabama virgin. A: A girl who is faster than her brothers. Q: How do you circumsize a boy from Alabama? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What does a girl from Tuscaloosa say after the first time she has sex? A: Get off of me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes!
A traveling salesman was driving through rural Alabama when he noticed a man in the front yard of his mobile home having sex with a sheep. Disgusted, he stopped and knocked on the front door. A young girl opened the door and the salesman asked her "Do you know that there is a man screwing a sheep in your front yard?" The girl replied "Thaaaats my Daaaaadyyy"
What does the unibomber and girls from alabama have in common? They were all fingered by their brother.
