The OP was about visitation/access. You went defcon and started talking about custody. Then you went all emotional with the "Really's?" and lots of !!!!. Go ahead and get yaself a maxipad bro. You need one.
I don't get how this turd has any kind of rights when he skipped out on her 3 times. The last time was 5 or 6 years ago when she was waiting for him to come pick her up for the day. He never showed up and has never called, written her a letter, wished her a happy birthday or anything since. And you don't just show up on someone's doorstep. I should have blasted him.
If this guy hasn't kept up with child support you probably have the right to legally adopt the girl if you haven't already. If something were to happen to your wife, God forbid, this scumbag would probably have more legal right to custody than you. Adoption would prevent the possibility of that ever happening as you would become your daughter's legal father. How much do you know about this guy? There are sites like http://instantcheckmate.com where for about $3 a month you can look up all legal records of almost anybody.
It's called sperm donation and he's been in court twice to pursue access. Skipping out when he doesn't have legal or physical custody is bad and amoral but it isn't enough to sever his legal parental rights although you could go to court to try that. Is it the right thing to do? No. If he had called and asked to come, what response would he have gotten? But the fact is he has a legal visitation order to rely on and no restraining order to keep him away. You could certainly pursue that if he is a threat or harassing you in any way. No, you shouldn't have. You end up in jail and your stepdaughter will never have a chance at a relationship with him. She may not want to see him but I don't know that she wants to see him dead.
In order for adoption to happen, there has to be a termination of the parental rights of a child's birthparents. A court hearing during which a judge issues a decree that permanently ends all legal parental rights of a birth parent to a child happens first. Termination of parental rights can be voluntary or involuntary, that is, with or without the birthparents' agreement. In some states, there is a period during which the birthparent may appeal, if rights have been terminated without his or her consent. It doesn't seem as if this father would consent but as bhelm suggested, an ad litem might help facilitate that process.
Laws probably vary from state to state. I know that in Louisiana about 30 years ago it was possible for a child to be adopted against the biological father's will if he hadn't kept up with child support payments. A friend of mine whose ex-wife had remarried found out the the new hubby was going to adopt his daughter. He scraped up several thousand dollars to get current on child support and the adoption was prevented. It's something @LaSalleAve should explore. It's probably in this case the guy is so far behind that he wouldn't be able to come up with the money to prevent it. While it might not ever become an issue as long as the mother is alive LaSalle should protect his rights just in case. Worse case scenario is that the mother dies and the biological father has more legal parental rights than LaSalle.
Since this thread is titled "Lawyers" the 25 foot mechanical shark built for Jaws is named Bruce after Steven Spielberg's lawyer Bruce Ramer.
They do. That is just wrong IMO. There are plenty of reasons why someone may not be able to keep up 100% of the time. That is not a reason for another non-related human being to adopt, thereby effectively eliminating the biological parent simply do to finances. At the moment, LaSalle has no legal rights and I don't know that he can protect what he doesn't have (short of moving to terminate dad's legal parentage and subsequent adoption). Step parents have a legal obligation to provide for the child's general well being. Outside of that, step parents do not have legal rights, including that child's placement, health or welfare. A step parent has no right to dictate who has access to the child. This means that the step parent cannot control another parent's involvement with the child. Similarly, a step parent cannot petition the court for custody over the child during a divorce proceeding. Custody of a child will always be given to a blood relative over an unrelated individual. (So it's also possible that even the grandmother might be granted custody over LaSalle since she's a blood relative). A step parent cannot dictate a non-biological child's medical care, education or other aspects of his life. This means that a hospital, school or other institution cannot provide or deny services to a child based on the step parent's rulings. This is not the case if the step parent adopts or has been granted custody of the child. I do believe that despite the former grants of visitation to the father, that if LaSalle were to become the sole parent in the home, he could make a compelling argument as to why he should be granted full legal and physical custody over the father.
