The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year
old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. "An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company, he called out. "Matt's riding a
new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board...."
After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out,
How do you know they are having sex?"



"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know...

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'

What do you call the surgical operation that changes a woman to a man?










Addadictomy

Little Johhny's Sister Sally

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother,
'Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!'

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.'

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, 'Really small, was it?'

Sally replied, 'No... salty!'

​

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was dating someone else.

One day, Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you." The girl looked at him, and then said, "NO!"

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor. You bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend...so she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes ,the boyfriend calls and
asks her, "What happened?"


Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The *&%$# had all quarters!"

Potentially and Realistically

Little Joey was in the 4th grade and was given a homework assignment by his teacher: Find out the difference between potentially and realistically, and be able to discuss it with the class.

Little Joey went home and asked his dad about the difference between potentially, and realistically.

His dad, chuckles, and tells Little Joey to go ask mom if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1 million dollars.

Little Joey, not understanding at all, asks his mother, "Mom, would you sleep with Robert Redford for $1 million dollars?" Mom thinks for a minute and says, "Well Joey, I'd have to talk about that with your dad first, but I'm sure I would say yes."

Little Joey goes back to his dad and tells him mom's answer. Then dad says, "Now go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Justin Timberlake for $1 million dollars."

Little Joey, again NOT understanding, goes to find his sis. Joey asks, "Sis, would you sleep with Justin Timberlake for $1 million dollars?" Big Sis replies, "Well of course I would Joey!"

Little Joey runs back to his Dad to give him the news.

Dad says, "Potentially, you and me, we're sitting on a cool, $2 million bucks. Realistically, we're living with a couple of sluts!"


:crystal::geaux::crystal::geaux::crystal:

Who makes more money, a hooker or a crack dealer???











A hooker. She can wash her crack and re-use it!



:crystal::geaux::crystal::geaux::crystal:

What do you call 10 lesbians stuffed in a closet?















A liquor cabinet!


:crystal::geaux::crystal::geaux::crystal:

If a big-breasted girl works at Hooters, then shouldn't a one-legged girl work at I-Hop?


:crystal::geaux::crystal::geaux::crystal: