HEAVEN (Sun Dec 9, 2001): In a historic move certain to shake up the college sports world for years to come, Almighty God confirmed this afternoon what Nebraska football fans had suspected for years: that He is in fact a Husker fan. As a result, the 11-1 Huskers will be going to the Rose Bowl to face undefeated Miami for at least a share of the national title on Jan 3, 2002. Reached for comment, God confirmed that the Huskers' narrow defeat of Colorado in the final BCS standings (by just .05 of a point) was indeed the result of divine preference. "Oh yeah, I've loved those guys ever since Johnny the Jet `tore em loose from their shoes'," He said, showing an impressive recollection of broadcasting legend Lyell Bremser's famous call. "They win, they play clean, their players graduate, and their fans are the best. So I've been sort of keeping an eye on them for a while. I thought after the Frost-Wiggins-Davison catch in OT vs Mizzou in '97 that everybody would figure out that I was on their side, but you know humans: they never really suspect any system until computers are involved." Asked for more specifics about just how He ensured Nebraska would in fact prevail this year, God was coy. "It was more of a spiritual thing at first, you know, encouraging the Okie State guys in Norman and so forth. But I will admit, the wind may have suddenly picked up a bit just before that So Miss game-winning field goal attempt against TCU on Friday. And OK, the fumbles by the Tennessee back were a little payback for him picking them over the 'Skers a few years ago." Despite the historic and far-reaching nature of His revelation, God seemed unconcerned that it might have negative impacts on the integrity of the college game. "I dunno, I think what goes around comes around. I mean, I gave CU that title with the loss, the tie, and the 5th down at Mizzou, what was it, 10 years ago? But they never really seemed to figure out how to handle winning; here they are trashing their own town again this fall -- not once but twice. The harassment of Nebraska fans, even children, after the game -- I mean come on. Let 'em eat Tostitos," a surprisingly flippant reference to the Buffs' upcoming appearance versus Oregon in the Fiesta Bowl, a consolation game played somewhere in Arizona. "Anyway, I think the Huskers can handle things from here on their own. Miami's running game is not like CU's, and their run defense needs some work. I have however reminded Eric not to get too fat on those Heisman dinners!" God said with a chuckle. Asked if He planned to attend the game, God was noncommittal. "I've looked into getting tickets, but most of them are already sold out. I've heard you can get 'em for $150 from Ticketmaster on Dec 11, but everytime I call those guys I get stuck on hold and it just drives me nuts. I'm thinking I might just hang out in the blimp, or maybe just over Fonoti's shoulder and count pancakes; I kind of relate to those big guys." ***********************************
Hey Husker Understand this. LSU didn't beat UT for you or to screw up the BCS. LSU beat UT because we wanted it more. We played harder. We played cleaner. We had better coaching. We never quit. And, we wanted to be SEC Champs!! I could careless about Nebraska, and think the BCS is a joke for sending someone who couldn't even win their conference, hell couldn't even get into the Championship Game, to play for the National Championship. What a joke, Nebraska should not be anywhere near the Rose Bowl!! If I had my druthers, which of course I don't, Oregon would be going to the Rose Bowl, a one loss team that WON their conference. So Nebraska, go play in the Rose Bowl, but don't think LSU did you any favors, and for the record, I think that at best Nebraska is the fifth best team in the SEC!!
