...or, Granny Holtz used to be funny: "At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern. "Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas." Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1 969 game. "After you retire, there's only one big event left....and I ain't ready for that." Bobby Bowden / Florida State "The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it." Lou Holtz / Arkansas "When you win, nothing hurts." Joe Namath / Alabama "Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated." Lou Holtz / Arkansas "If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, "Roll, tide, roll!" Bear Bryant / Alabama< /FONT> "A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame "There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." Woody Hayes / Ohio State "I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." Bob Devaney / Nebraska "In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant." Wally Butts / Georgia "You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life." Paul Dietzel / LSU "It's kind of hard to rally around a math class." Bear Bryant / Alabama When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world. "No, but you can see it from here." Lou Holtz / Arkansas... "I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game." Bear Bryant / Alabama "There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line." Matty Bell / SMU "Lads,you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame "I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa "My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor." Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee "I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State "Always remember .... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David." Shug Jordan / Auburn "They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal / Texas "Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame "They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech "I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good." Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State "Son, you've got a good engi ne, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State "Football is not a contact sport - it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: "All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC "If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota "The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame "Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech "It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame "We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches." Darrell Royal / Texas "We didn't tackl e well today but we made up for it by not blocking." John McKay / USC "Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad ." Darrell Royal / University of Texas "I've found that prayers work best when you have big players." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame "Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football" John Heisman
More from John McKay: John McKay was almost known more for his sense of humor than for his success as a football coach. Some of his best quotes: * On the execution of the Bucs offense: ``I think it's a good idea.'' * On why he rarely had bed checks: ``You usually wind up staying up all night, or until your best player comes in.'' * On the significance of experience: ``If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.'' * On the weaknesses of linebacker Hugh Green: ``He's not twins.'' * On Bill Capece, who was waived in 1983 after missing a field goal and extra point: ``Capece is kaput.'' * On place-kicker Pete Rajecki having a bad camp with the Bucs because McKay made him nervous: ``I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.'' * On the Bucs' 42-0 loss to Pittsburgh on a very cold day: ``I remember in Pittsburgh we had no players and the ones we did have wanted to stay at the hotel by the fire. I was ticked because that's where I wanted to stand.'' * On the importance of an older quarterback's mobility: ``As a person gets older he doesn't get faster. Our quarterback will run from fright or lack of protection.'' * On fan mail he received as a Tampa Bay coach: ``It was about three-to-one that I was not an SOB. But there were a lot of ones.'' * On why coaching an expansion team is a religious experience: ``You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is `No.' '' * On the Bucs early games: ``Every time I look up, it seems we're punting.'' * On O.J. Simpson carrying the ball 47 times in a USC game: `` He doesn't belong to a union. Anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.'' * On blocking strategy: ``Hold when you're at home and don't hold when you're on the road.'' * On his disdain for the Packers: ``If a contest had 97 prizes, the 98th would be a trip to Green Bay.'' * On opening days: ``Opening games make me nervous. To tell the truth, I'd rather open with our second game.'' * On training camp: ``It's shattering when a player loses interest in camp. When you lose your desire to stand around and eat steaks, you lose everything.'' * Asked if Lynn Cain of the Atlanta Falcons was ready to play against the Bucs: ``Let me know if Cain is able.''
My favorite (possibly the weirdest): "Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech
My favorite: "At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.
I've always liked Bear Bryant's, "Tiger Stadium is the hardest place to play on Earth. It is like being inside a drum." (I'm sure that's not accurate word for word.)
For some reason I remember Lou Holtz on the Tonight Show after his R-kansas hogs upset Oklahoma in the 1977/78 Orange bowl game. He had suspended his 2 best backs and still won 31-6. Carson asked him: "coach one thing I noticed was how fired up your team came out onto the field, knowing they were facing a great Oklahoma team. What did you tell them before the game?" Without blinking (or spitting) "The last 11 out the room are startin!"
From an SMU booster (and prominent Texas politician) after it was discovered that the Mustangs were paying their players, "Well, we knew it was wrong, but since we'd promised the money, we wanted to honor our word.
McKay should have been a stand up comedian. The guy was hilarious. The 1st one on your list is my all time favorite.:lol:
Former TTech coach Spike Dykes is a guest on local radio here about once a week during football season. I try not to miss it. He's a funny man.
