Dude.. I have done some things I'm not too proud of in my life as a musician but even I have standards. The one in the OP's story looks like she caught on fire and someone put her out with a damp chain. Now... the smiley little Texas teacher, that's a different thing entirely.
I took Spanish three years in high school just to watch the teacher erase the blackboard. She was smokin' hot, just out of college, AND she used to talk all the time about her husband always playing b-ball and softball with his friends and how she was alone a lot. I was too stupid then, well still am, but I think she was willing. Damn! My loins ache just thinking about that!