I'm guessing we're not talking about the kind of roach with legs...and "warm" doesn't mean a "comfortable" roach of the aforesaid "legged" type then...:hihi:
She was doing the dying cockroach when mom walked in. :rofl: Come on folks, lest have some real embarrassing moments. All of the fan mail is making me blush. Where is OT on this?
When I was in HS my parents went to Jersey for a week! :huh: We had a major throw down so as usual I recruited help for the clean up. place was spotless just hours before arrival. They get home and all is well till their laundry went under way. Mom opened the dryer and found ALL of the beer cans stuffed into the dryer. What are friends for?
About two weeks before I went into basic training, had a date scheduled with wife to be #1. We left and went on our date, needless to say, being young, crazy and horny as hell the obvious transpired...we were gone for a few hours then came back over to my house. My Mom and Dad were in the living room watching TV when we came in...The old man took one look and me and my honey, then without even blinking an eye says "your pants are unzipped"! I was a bit embarrassed but when I glanced over to the wife to be she must have been 10 shades of red...I don't think she tried to come back over to see my folks for a month or two...too funny!:hihi:
To set up how humiliating this one was, you have to understand that I've always been above average at whatever sport I played (never gifted, but always above average). So, I'm in either 3rd or 4th grade, and I'm about to start playing for the first "real" baseball league in my little world at the time (city league, not school). To prepare for it, my friends and I would all go out and practice. When it came to practicing fielding, we had this high school guy we knew come out and hit to us -- ground balls, line drives, fly balls, everything. We'd practice almost daily for months and months, and it turns out that I was pretty damn excellent at fielding the ball -- in that aspect of my game, I was almost superstar-good; everybody was pretty amazed at how well I could catch. So anyway, the Big Day finally comes -- the try-outs for the city league. Basically, all the coaches are out there with their clip boards -- and all the kids trying out are put through a variety of tests, and when it's all over the coaches have a little draft where they select who they want for their teams. Well, the way I remember it, the first thing I had to do at the try-out was go out there and show how well I could catch a fly ball. So I go out there -- the pop fly comes -- it went way, way up there -- but I don't remember any wind issues or it getting caught in the sun or me trying to make a fancy catch or even me having to make a break on the ball -- I remember that it pretty much came right to me and that it should have been a pretty easy catch for me. I figured that I wouldn't do anything fancy, just simply make the catch, and move on with the rest of the try-outs, right? No. What happened was that the ball -- which like I said, went way, way up there -- comes down, right at me and ends up SMACKING ME RIGHT IN THE KISSER. I don't even think I got a piece of it. I just remember blood spewing out my mouth and them making me go straight the dentist for him figure out how bad my front teeth had been damaged -- and thinking the whole time, that I had to be, by far, one of the THE BIGGEST FREAKING LOSERS in the entire history of mankind. I'm surprised the coaches weren't laughing their butts of at how pathetically sad my performance was during those try-outs.
Here is a really embarassing one. When i was about 12, a big group of us were in a Rax's burger joint. I got um sick. i went to the can relieve myself. Little did i know that it was broken, but they never put a sign up. When i was finished i flushed the toilet, everything overflowed. So i was forced to go tell the management that something was wrong in the bathroom. He goes in and comes right back out yelling, "That is so disgusting. i am not ever sure what the hell is coming out of the toilet." Took me a while to live that down. What do i win??
Alright I have way to many and I haven't gotten the nerve up yet to post the original one I have so I will start y'all out on a smaller one. I llike to play pool. Gotten pretty good at through the years. A couple of years back I was playing in the Womens Florida tour. This is one of the biggest tours in the country for amatuer players because of the fact that we allow the pros to play in them. So the girls you see on TV are some of the ones that I have played. Anyway I normally did OK in these tournaments not great but ok. One tournament I had finally gotten to Sunday! I was thrilled and could barely handle my excitement! Then I actuallt got to the finals. I had to play Vivian V. (known as the Texas Tornado, because at the speed she plays pool) She beats alot of amutuer players because first she is a great player but also amatuer players et sucked into her speed of the game and make mistakes, basically you start playing her game and not yours. So I start palying and make sure I play my game and walk the table, concentrate, blah, blah, blah. Now remember this is the finals everybody is out of the tournement is watching and the spectators, there is about 100 people watching and the room is slient, no juke box, no talking NOTHING! So here I am all calm (about to have a heartattack I am so nervous) and walking around the table with my cue stick looking the table over. As I walk I accidently kick the bottom of my cue stick which flys the top smack into my face. If that wasn't bad enough I then yelled at the top of my lungs "CHIT! That HURT!!!" The crowd busrt out laughing, Vivian about fell on the floor laighing and I was humilated!!! She beat me 5-12.
Also my friend and I were riding bikes to our little league baseball game when we were younger. He shat himself going down the hill. He tried to ride home after batting practice but his bike was stolen (mine had a lock). He had to play first base with brown britches.
November 2007. Saints vs Texans. I spent the entire game in the bathroom throwing up. I dont remember moving to the family bathroom, but I do remember my husband opening the door and yelling "My wife is sick in here. Go to another bathroom, DI@K" Now, I've learned my limints with alcohol but once in awhile I'm reminded why I need to know my limits. We bought some Boon's as a joke- that and some purple stuff called Purple Passion. I occasionally think I'm a drinking champ and think I can down any form of alcohol that comes my way. I can not. You've seen "the drunk girl" and thought- man, sucks for her husband/bf. He has to take care of her drunk azz. I was that drunk girl. I was slurring and falling all over the place. ____________________________________ Another one- this one is not mine. I swear! I'll keep it clean, but it is about someone "losing it" Girl and boy are in the middle of romance- first time for both. His parents walk in the house and catch them at it...at the climatic scene of the movie, (if ya catch my drift). She runs out of the house and trips on her pants (didnt try to pull them up) and gets a black eye. She hears them yelling for her to stop, but she yells back "(Boyfriend) take me home now!" and gets in his car. Boyfriend drives her home. Both go inside. Both are talking to her parents when something drops out of his shorts...the, uh, you know...used pro-fo. He was in such a state of shock that he didnt know it was still there. So, the day they both "lost it" BOTH of their parents found out.
