Don't you hate it that Hall's cough drops have multiple motivational messages on the wrapper of each drop? "Turn can do into can did." How about "Quit faking you lazy slacker and get back to work."
I hate when I'm behind a car at a drive through ATM and after they get their money, they just sit there fiddle fucking around, putting their money in their wallet, looking at the receipt, blowing their nose or whatever the fuck else they do. Hey, inconsiderate jackass, how's about you pulling up about a foot or so and do all of that, so I can get to the cash machine. Chances are, you'll be finished dickin around by the time my cash is dispensed; making it a win-win for both of us.
I'm not privy to any inside info on his bowel movements, but I think he was saying he hates when the urge hits him once he's already out of the shower.