This one take the cake. I was teaching school in Lafayette last night and pulled up to the gas pump at about 10:00pm, guy walks up to me and wants spare change for gas money. I told him I would give him some for washing my windshield. He gave me a crappy little stare and walked away. Not even willing to do mindless labor for some cash. Apparently he wanted it the old fashioned way FREE!
Yesterday a middle-aged woman panhandled me inside Podners BBQ. She was clean and well-dressed with jewelry, a watch, and a leather purse. Definitely not a street-person. She was going from table to table flat out asking people for "a favor" of a "loan" of $5 that she would repay on payday. I told her to take a hike and a restaurant manager soon ordered her out. This I took to be a con and I'd never give a dime to a con-man. But a street person who doesn't know where his next meal is coming from . . . I just give him my change, sometimes even a buck. I don't want him to work for his handouts any more than I would ask him to dance for it. I just want him to be able to buy a Big Mac and a bottle of Ripple to get him through another day. The parable of the Good Samaritan teaches a Christian value that I honor. "Do unto others . . . " is another one. One twist of fate and I could have been the one to lose my money and my mind and be begging for change.
i saw a new trick the panhandlers do recently. they stand next to a pay phone and say they really need change for a dollar to make a call. a guy actually tricked me with it. i gave him a quarter and i noticed he was only pretending to make a call. he didnt put the quarter in the phone and was having a fake conversation. i was standing waiting for the elevator to the subway so i didnt walk away like the ordinary chump. i told the guy "you win, you tricked me, i realize you arent talking to anyone and you still have the quarter" and he acted incredulous. "no boss, i am really talking". but he was lazy with his acting because he realized he had won and there was pretty much no need to bother, because it wasnt like i was gonna fight him over a quarter. the trick is that nobody will actually give the bum 4 quarters and ask for a dollar back, because nobody has 4 quarters, and they dont care about change, they just give a quarter and the guy fakes a conversation and thats it. next idiot. my other favorite ruse is 3 card monte, which is actually a tremendously interesting production, usually involving 6 participants. 1. the dealer 2, 3, 4: 3 fake players pretending to win money from the dealer 5, 6: 2 guys, one at each corner opposite the game watcing for cops, they whistle or whoop once when they see a cop. the dealer kicks over the stacked cardboard boxes the cards are on and walks away nonchalantly. it is fantastic. not to long ago i saw some guys playing outside the nike store at 57th and 5th. they were playing 3 card monte and none of the players were not in on it, they were performing to bring others in. so i walked up to them to see their game, and of course the dealer loses 20 dollars to the players and the players pretend to be happy. i am the only person there who isnt part of the scam. and they see me and open up a spot so i can see how easy it is and the other "players" say they just won 80$ or whatever. then he deals again, making it obvious, and asks me to pick the correct card, and of course he made it easy and i was right, and he says i could have just won 20$ if only i had just laid a bet down before the hand. and the other "players" are encouraging me and waving the money they "won". it is really pretty awesome. one of my friends once said "those guys are classy, they should call their game 3 card montgomery". i really laughed hard at that, because i think things like that are funny.
My favorite Marlon Brando line: As Sky Masterson in Guys and Dolls: "My dear old Dad once said to me: One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider."
I don't normally give money to people, in the town where I live I have seen people on occasion holding a sign that says will work for food. I do not hire these people however. I saw a family one time, and the guy was holding a sign, said the car was broke down or something like that. I did not give him money, but I did go to the grocery store and bought some sandwhich meat and chips and snacks, because I saw some kids. I ain't gonna let kids go hungry. Only one time in my life have I given money to someone. And this was about 10 years ago, we had been Christmas shopping in Hattiesburg, Ms. which is about 30 miles away from where we leave. We were on our way home, and we saw this young boy, he couldn't have been more that 16 or 17, he was holding a sign that said "I am hungry, I am willing to work for something to eat, I told my husband to pull into Wendy's, we got him something to eat and we stopped and gave it to him, I also gave him some more money to get something to eat later, it absolutely broke my heart. Before we got pulled away from where he was standing, he was already walking away to sit down and eat, I cried all the way home. This incident had upset me so bad, I thought later why didn't I see if this young boy wanted to go home or something, he was so young, I couldn't imagine any one being that young and being on their own. We made a special trip back the next day just to see if he was there, we were gonna see what his situation was, and we were prepared to do whatever we had to do. But he wasn't there. That was the only time I have ever given anyone some money.
