The boob issue was a great thing to see, that however had a lot less to do with her demise than the drugs.
We need a little humor right now. This is from PJ O’Rourke in American Consequences Old Enough to Know Better By P.J. O'Rourke When the Super Tuesday primary polls opened on the morning of March 3, the race for the Democratic presidential nomination was a display of speed, strength, bravery, and nimble maneuvering that was as exciting, confused, and unpredictable as the running of the bulls at Pamplona. By the time the polls closed, the race was two old guys puttering along the political retirement community's electoral cart path to see who'll be first in line for the Early Bird Special at the convention in Milwaukee. In fact, the entire 2020 presidential campaign has turned into a remake of Grumpy Old Men. And when that 1993 movie was released, Jack Lemmon (at 68) and Walter Matthau (at 73) were younger than any of the three front-running presidential candidates will be on Election Day. Being a grumpy old man myself, I guess I should be... whatchamacallit... word's on the tip of my tongue... Huh? What's that? Speak up, goldurnit! And where are my dang bifocals?... Oh... I'm wearing them... Anyway, as I was saying... What was I saying? We might as well just go ahead and call 1600Pennsylvania Avenue "The White Home" – A National Assisted Living Facility. Trump is much too old and far too big for his britches to be hanging around the political playground making up nasty nicknames and teasing the wimpy kids. One of these days, his big fat old ego is going to get stuck in the slide, bend the monkey bars, or break the swing set seat. Joe Biden is a zombie from the policy cemetery of the Carter era, with a stump performance like Election Night of the Living Dead. And Bernie Sanders is the decrepit grouch who should be sitting on a park bench in Boca Raton, grouching about his grandchildren voting for Bernie Sanders. Meanwhile, how did the Democratic field of presidential hopefuls – a large and diverse selection of various talents and abilities (or lacks thereof) – suddenly get winnowed down to the Mummy of the White Mountains and something that Dr. Barackenstein brought back to life in the Hope and Change lab of 2008? How come Elizabeth Warren flopped? New Hampshire's governor, Chris Sununu, had the best take on Warren... During the February 11 New Hampshire primary, I was on Dan Rea's NightSide talk show (WBZ Boston 1030 AM and available on podcast platforms – I heartily recommend it). Dan and I were discussing the incoming vote counts when Gov. Sununu stopped by the studio. Dan invited him to have a seat and grab a microphone. Dan Rea: "Governor, it looks like Elizabeth Warren is getting a real beating in New Hampshire. What did she do wrong?" Gov. Sununu: "She campaigned here." Dan Rae: "And... " Gov. Sununu: "People got to know her." People in the rest of the country got to know Warren too. The problem with that was summed up in a Monday, March 1 New York Times op-ed by Michelle Goldberg. The lead paragraph read: On Tuesday [February 25], after the last Democratic debate, Ann Coulter tweeted: "Sen. Warren has convinced me that Bernie isn't that worrisome. SHE'S the freak who will show up with 17 idiotic plans every day and keep everyone up until it gets done." Vicious reactionary that she is, Coulter cut to the heart of Elizabeth Warren's promise. Or threat. And, mind you, this was an op-ed supporting Elizabeth Warren. (Ann Coulter sends her best, Michelle.) Mike Bloomberg is a different story. Bloomberg didn't lose because he spent so much trying to buy the nomination. We Americans are willing to prostitute our votes. Bloomberg got about 2,340,000 votes on Super Tuesday (according to the rough figures available from Associated Press as I write). True, Bloomberg spent half a billion dollars getting those votes. But let's divvy up the take... $500 million divided by 2.34 million equals less than $214 per whorish X on a ballot. We're not a bunch of cheap hookers, Mike. America is a high-price cathouse. You're going to have to pony up a lot more than $214 to buy our favors. Bloomberg lost because he didn't spend enough trying to buy the nomination. Pete Buttigieg is out of the running due to his being so amiable, accomplished, intelligent, and personable that people immediately like him without giving it a thought. Then people started thinking. Specifically, they started thinking, "I've got socks older than he is." After that they started thinking about Pete's political bona fides, of which he has one: Mayor of Nowhere. A political career is like running the high hurdles... You're supposed to clear a few jumps first. You can't simply pop out of the starting blocks, trot along the side of the track, and leap over just the very last hurdle to land in the White House. Never mind that's what the current resident did. And, when he came to the last hurdle, Trump didn't even take much of a hop – he just shoved the thing aside. But Pete's no Trump (as Pete would be the first to point out). And before Pete makes a serious attempt to run for the presidency, he needs to be elected to a higher political office than he's held so far – County Sewer Commissioner, maybe. As for Amy Klobuchar, I'm not sure what happened to her. Again, it may have had to do with voters thinking. Voters will do that – even Democratic primary voters. "Amy who?" was something voters thought. Also, "If she's actually a senator, how come I've never heard of her?" And, "She says she's a Democrat who can work with Republicans. Does she own a flying pony too?" Then... You know how one thought leads to another... "Is Minnesota really a state?" "Has anybody ever been there?" "Are you sure it's not just a place that Garrison Keillor made up?" In the end, maybe Amy Klobuchar was an imaginary candidate. If voters wanted imaginary things to vote for, Bernie Sanders' campaign promises were already available. So now the presidential campaign has entered a fully geriatric stage. There are only three remaining likely candidates (unless the fellow carrying a scythe and dressed in a floor-length black hoodie decides otherwise). These candidates are either – as I like to say about my septuagenarian self – venerable, tested, time-honored past masters. Or they're – as my children like to say about me – decrepit geezers, fossils, codgers, and fogeys past their sell-by date. However you want to put it, America has no choice about electing a president who's old. The only choice we have left is "what kind of old?" There's... Old Faithful Trump spouting off every 44 minutes. Old Glory a tattered Biden who should have been hauled down the flagpole long ago but who just keeps on flapping. And... Old Fart Bernie the Marxist butt trumpet.
Yep, the Marxist butt trumpet has ceded but not conceded. The endorsement negotiations begin. Where will his next new house be? Smart money is a beach place. He already has a lake house and a cabin in the woods. Wonder if he'll donate all the left over campaign money to the illegals or just find another way to pay it to his wife?
