Championship Season Poems

Discussion in 'Ramah's Playroom' started by RamahRising, Sep 1, 2019.

  1. RamahRising

    RamahRising Jedi Prophet

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    As Nestor approaches the Gulf Coast Shores,
    MSU faithful pray for it to deliver them from the inevitable whipping coming at the hands of these LSU Tigers

    Don’t Kill that Poor Bulldog
    By Ramah

    Mullen cashed in after 19 to three
    Saw years and years mo of misery
    So he left ‘em all at Cowbell Town
    A program dying and going Down

    That new coach is named MoHead
    Try to work his dogs but they dead
    Layed down last week n Tennessee
    Whooped little puppies fo all to see

    Nestor is the PuppyDog latest hope
    Nestor don’t come they’ll get a rope
    To hang poor Ole MoHead in effigy
    For hurtin PuppyDog nation to see

    Joe and his Bombers hate cowbells
    And all them other Corndog smells
    Bombs will drop early in clear light
    Score will soar until it’s outta sight

    Oh PuppyDog Nation can’t you see
    You got no recruiting for a Victory
    You’re job to provide an easy week
    For the Champs on a winnin streak

    Oeaux, it’s time to put puppy down
    You hate doing it and wear a frown
    Myles Brennan time in Quarter Fo’
    Last slap on Dey ass n gotta Geaux

    Afta Heisman Joe leaves Starkville
    They’ll talk about him what a thrill
    They’ll talk and wonder what to do
    To be Bulldogs Bombin’ like L~S~U
     
  2. RamahRising

    RamahRising Jedi Prophet

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    Ballad of Bo “Pimples” Nix
    By Ramah

    They play Saturday neath a cloudy sky
    Death Valley dreams come here to die
    Bo “Pimples” Nix, Freshman Sacrifice
    Arrogance of Venue such Poor Advice

    Fans rock the busses when you arrive
    Pimples prayin to get out of this alive
    Tiger punishment you will not escape
    Ground in that turf you have no Cape

    It’s all or nothin for War Damn Eagle
    Pimples false pride he struts so regal
    Takes the field and makes his huddle
    100,000 scream his mind’s a muddle

    The Swamp was nothing close to this
    His knees shakin now he’s gotta piss
    He lets it go, the warmth such a bliss
    Steps to the line looks into the Abyss

    Fierce Tiger eyes so hungry and mean
    Ready to kill Gus’ Freshman machine
    Pimples talk your Death Valley smack
    Now your ass is gonna take the whack

    A quick Handoff to let Pimples adjust
    He must get comfortable Gus he must
    Tiger Dee gang tackle po Kam Martin
    No running game hope to be a startin’

    Pimples passing game a 1-trick poney
    Always to Schwarz that is no Baloney
    Tigers are ready for a pass in that flat
    Knock poor Schwarz down on da mat

    Third and 8 oh what will Pimples do
    To beat them hungry Tigers for LSU
    Steps to the line n backs in shot gun
    Takes the snap watchin Schwarz run

    Tigers ready they make Schwarz pay
    Just gotta find somethin’ better today
    Three n out Auburn now back to punt
    Pimples passes Gus who gives a grunt

    The Gods gave Joe Burrow veins of ice
    He’s watchin Poor Pimples in sacrifice
    And never blink one eye or think twice
    Just throwin dimes to Jefferson thrice

    Pimples watching Joey Dimes in awe
    Wishing he had ice veins like his Paw
    An extra point just flew right through
    Pimples gets his hat, punishment due

    A third three n’ out for Poor Pimples
    Gus glarin n makin forehead dimples
    You let me down Bo sit on that bench
    Joey Gatewood’s gonna fix yo’ stench

    Joey Gatewood’s a deer in headlights
    Just can’t find a receiver in his sights
    Blitzing Tigers knockin out his lights
    Cord Sandberg up for braggin’ rights

    This gridiron tragedy goes on and on
    Halftimes here, Auburn hope is gone
    Gus try to energize Eagles so dearest
    But it comes off like just the queerest

    The second half it’s more of the same
    Poor Pimples punished not to blame
    Gus just didn’t have an offense True
    To hold da mighty jockstraps of LSU

    Gus shot his wad it’s Saturday Night
    His reality is Auburn’s Playoff Plight
    Death Valley now Rockin outta sight
    Crescent Moon waxing evening light

    100,000 are howling LSU LSU LSU
    Pimples pisses his pants in the Ado
    SEC Dreams crash for Eagles o War
    Forty plus to thirteen the final score

    Meanwhile ...

    Saban hiding in a Stadium Spy Room
    Watchin Tigers Roll and feelin gloom
    Wondering how he’s gonna stop Joe
    And how his AFLAC contract will go

    Joe’ll kick Tide ass worse than Trevor
    No matter the game plan or endeavor
    Cuz Lewis n Jennings are not enough
    To bust up any of Joe Burrow’s Stuff

    Kickoff time Arkansas the Creme Pie
    Yummy cupcakes get a Dwarf so high
    Dat he feels like he can touch the Sky
    But not tonight, Poor Dwarf just sigh

    Cuz another week off won’t stop Joe
    LSU pillage in a T-Town horror show
    Little Nicky knows how it’s gonna go
    Nothin’ can help not even Bear dough

    Even with SEC officials in his pocket
    Saban knows he’ll watch LSU Rocket
    And blow the doors off Bryant Denny
    And kick Tide ass with scores aplenty

    Nothing to do but practice that pander
    Suck it up Dwarf n show em yo dander
    Get your arguments ready for a playoff
    Tackle the best of them give em a scoff

    You know when you get playoff or not
    Nothin’ gonna stop Joe Burrow so hot
    The worst thing could happen vs LSU
    Rematch, retribution, a 2nd rout too

    [​IMG]
     
  3. GiantDuckFan

    GiantDuckFan O the Joy

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    ya got talent,.. ramah, ramah, ding dong,.. your poems suck and blow at the same time
     
  4. RamahRising

    RamahRising Jedi Prophet

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    A Tale of Retribution
    by Ramah

    Tigerforums Chillrens one and all
    Minger retires after this Final Fall
    Tiga nation on edge all wanna see
    Shorty da man set da chained free

    Birth of that genius Shorty da man
    He can’t beat Alabama, no one can
    Give him the choice he gonna Pass
    Back off that line, CEH up your ass

    When teams gets this talent loaded
    DC’s Brains are gonna be imploded
    Tryin’ to stop Gridiron routs in Fall
    After Shorty makes the Perfect Call

    Touchdowns will Light up that sky
    Tuscaloosa scoreboards sittin high
    Shorty’s just lettin those passes fly
    Saban yell at Pete Golding and sigh

    Joe Burrow’s Heisman, all can see
    Tua Tagovailoa hobblin’ in misery
    The First Quarter comes to an end
    Ten zip Tigers, LSU’s in command

    Much ado Tigers AP Number One
    It’ll be settled before a setting sun
    Second Quarter roarin Saban fury
    Tiger Dee holdin’ is Nicky’s worry

    Ten Three Tigers a field goal made
    Gumptard Elephant noises played
    Joe gets a chance and two minutes
    Pushing that Tide Dee to its Limits

    Joe working hard time running low
    Ja’Marr Chase deals the death blow
    The Bandwagon’s loaded all can see
    Shorty the man set the Chained free

    Evil Dwarf down seventeen to three
    Tide feeling his locker room Misery
    Tigers Chained the last Eight Years
    A Tide Comeback a sum of all fears

    A Tiger locker room still and quiet
    Joe n Shorty plan the 2nd half riot
    Their gameplan is to hit Overdrive
    No Tide playas leave T-Town alive

    Drives ending as Bama hopes fade
    Tua benched as his ankle’s played
    80,000 Alabama Heads are down
    Saban donnin a permanent frown

    LSU roaring to end Quarter three
    Thirty-one to three is Tide misery
    Heisman Joe Bootie Fingers Four
    Tigers are ready to slam that door

    A desperate Tide scores to get ten
    They playin elephant noises again
    But it’s all over n America can see
    No path for a Little Nicky Victory

    Saban screamin Oh what a Show
    An LSU 50 yard FG a death blow
    Bammers score a sixteenth point
    Going for two just blows the joint

    Thirty-four Eighteen giving Hope
    The fierce LSU Dee just says nope
    Thirty-four sixteen’s now da score
    Joe Bootie lookin to close da door

    Touchdown LSU no elephant play
    LSU Tigers have just won the Day
    Forty-one sixteen fans they adore
    Heisman Joe Bootie that’s fo sure

    Three minutes left fo Bama Pride
    Saban screams they going off side
    Tiny Tua comes in da Tiger Jungle
    LSU Dee sacks him what a Bungle

    Ball is down on Bama thirty-three
    CEH up the gut for five then three
    Third and two, Tigers run it again
    Bama’s Pride stops em what a Sin

    Fourth and a foot on twenty-three
    Cade York trots out to seal victory
    One swing of a foot it’s forty-four
    Time runs out and the Tigers roar

    Forty-four sixteen, O what a game
    Same score to bring Clemson fame
    Joe’s doin a Smoker cigars are out
    Cheerleaders kissing him all about

    Presser lappin’ up everything LSU
    Saban doesn’t know what to Spew
    Saban starts to say real weird stuff
    The Press are killers n call his bluff

    “Poor Tua” Saban goes to campaign
    Tua deserves the playoff not a stain
    He fought on this day courageously
    He must have a chance, can’t u see

    Tua today was playin at 60 per cent
    In another month he’ll pay the rent
    In 2 more months he beats up LSU
    Give us a chance it’s just right to do

    Press ain’t buyin’ they on to Oeaux
    His sly Cajun smile steals the show
    He takes a page outta Victory Dabo
    Only one way up one way to Geaux

    Oeaux gives all da praise to his staff
    He’s got tons ready n makes em laff
    Praising the Minger n Joe Brady too
    And Dave Aranda’s Day at Bama zoo

    Oeaux went funny bout Bama jungle
    Tider Elephant noises n Tider Bungle
    He said there’s no place like the SEC
    That’s where Football’s Best you see

    He put a hand on top Joe’s shoulder
    Told them all dat he ain’t see bolder
    He told them all of a great American
    He told his tale about Joey Heisman

    The press gobbled up every last drop
    Asked Oeaux about his playoffs stop
    Ole Miss Arkansas and TAMU await
    This is the SEC and they’re Tiger Bait

    We gonna take em one game at a time
    Our Goals in front n’ we hit our prime
    Ole Miss’ gonna set their Oxford Trap
    We comin there hungry, we won’t fap

    Two games at home finish our season
    Arkansas and TAMU our only Reason
    Perhaps then we can earn Atlanta Trip
    N hang it on da Gators button their lip

    We will enjoy the win for just one day
    Then we’ll get ready for Ole Miss play
    There’s one more thing that I’ll tell U
    There’s no better time to come to LSU
    Geaux Tigers
     

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