Ok, I know its a little early for this.....oh hell its never early.....here goes.... Q: What is the difference between an Alabama cheerleader and a catfish? A: One has whiskers and smells like ****; the other is a fish. Q: How do you keep an Alabama girl from biting her nails? A: Make her wear shoes. Q: What is the definition of an Alabama virgin? A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers. Q. How is the Alabama football team like a possum? A. They play dead at home and get killed on the road. Q. - What's the difference between BAMA's Bryant-Denny Stadium and a porcupine? A. - A Porcupine has 83,000 pricks on the outside. Q: Why don't they teach sex ed and driver ed at Alabama in the same day? A: They don't want the mule to get too tired! Q: What do you call 32 Alabama women in one room? A: A full set of teeth! Q: How do you get a Crimson Tide Football Fan to stop beating his wife??? A: Dress her in Orange!!! Q: What do you call a female Alabama fan with no brothers or sisters? A: A virgin Q. - What's the best way to get a Alabama grad off your front porch? A. - Pay him for the pizza! Q. - Can you name one good use for an Alabama diploma? A. - By placing it in the windshield of your car you are eligible for handicapped parking! Q. - What do people at BAMA call duct tape? A. - Chrome. Q. - How do you get a BAMA student with one arm out of a tree? A. - Wave. Q. - How do you circumcise a Crimson Tide football player? A. - Kick his sister in the mouth! Q. - What do you say to a BAMA athlete in a 3-piece suit? A. - Will the defendant please rise? Q. - If two BAMA football players are in the same car, who's driving? A. - The policeman! Q: How do you break an Alabama fan's finger? A: Punch him in the nose. Q. Why do Alabama's football shoes have TGIF printed on them? A. Toes go in first. Q. How does an Alabama graduate spell VICTORY?? (Its a trick question, we all know they can't read!) Did ya hear that the Crimson Tide Library burned down? Burned up both books - and one of 'em wasn't even colored yet!!
This guy bought a new Mercedes. The dealer showed him all of the features including the voice-activated XM radio. As he drove away he tested it by saying "Easy Listening" and the radio began playing "I left my heart in San Francisco" by Tony Bennett. Impressed he said "The Beatles" and the radio began playing "It was 20 years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play". At that moment, a pickup with confederate flag plates and NASCAR stickers cut him off and forced him out of his lane. "Stupid rednecks" he yelled . . . and the radio switched channels, "TOUCHDOWN ALABAAAAMA! . . ." :grin:
