THE DWARF THAT WOULD NOT DIE ... a rhyme of guile and bile

THE DWARF THAT WOULD NOT DIE ... by Ramah


Oh little Dwarf wearing Crimson Red
You can never get into Les Miles head
They made your likeness into a bronze
Elephants worship Nicky like the Fonz

LSU reamed your arse November Five
That Nine to Six win wasn't some Jive
We walloped you 'n Your Heisman star
We humbled your ground game and TR

Then you squealed 'n squealed to ESPN
It's all a big mistake, Let's Do it again
Uncle Fowler then let you sit on his lap
And on his organ you did your best fap

Backdoor deals with Herbie 'n Old Mus
Brokeback Cowboys thrown under a bus
Gundy stood tall when he told it so true
His Cowboys deserve the game with LSU

ESPN elves Wincer, Sphincter, 'n Cyrus
Gave Wolfe's Computer that nasty virus
Gundy smoked Oklahoma with the big gun
VT dropped like a fly to Mighty Clemson

Hardly a Bama glimmer of hope left alive
Worry and fear until the news did arrive
Alabama magically remained Number Two
It would be the Tide to face Mighty LSU

Oh little Dwarf wearing his Crimson Red
You can never ever get inside Miles head
They made your likeness into that Bronze
Elephants worshiping Nicky like the Fonz

So you show in the Dome, what can you do
You got a fistfull of nothing for Old LSU
You will run and run with your mighty TR
But LSU knows whats coming light a cigar

A game's slipping away you give it the gas
You light that fire under McCarrion's ass
Those best laid plans die on a pass untrue
That pick six run back by Tyran Mathieu

Another tragic Bowl loss coming your way
The players laying down unwilling to play
Your Bowl record falling to six and seven
Final Score is LSU Tigers 20 'n Bama ten

Post game presser, you're searchin ya soul
Your mind is pure madness ya losin control
Then one mean reporter he goes to ask you
Why the hell did you do it and replay LSU

Animal inside you snaps you're now enraged
You jump the reporter like a Tiger uncaged
Biting off his ear lobe like Tyson did Lewis
You spit da chunk 'n scream Les screwed us

You race across the stage and go for crystal
TM sees you coming and gives you a fist full
You lie there unconscious on that party deck
Confetti flying everywhere, O what the heck

When you finally awake in the Psycho Ward
Remembering that you played your last card
Babbling incoherently, you're fed baby food
Slive say hey Little Nicky now don't be rude

Slive says give Nicky da juice shock him again
Increase the damned current all the way to ten
Make him lose his bowels and start pissing again
I heard Sexton's coming and he's off to Big Ten

 

can't believe I read all of that

 

That is one fine piece of poetry!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

I'm drunker than a GD skunk tonite ... Did I finish it

... Nicky goes to Penn State :hihi:

... He gets a contract where they gotta build him a statue better than Bama's if he gets to the BCSCG

 

You got to admit it ... Saban is an evil dwarf who will not die!

The hooch inspired me to sixty lines ... one line for each year this miserable lil mofo has inhabited this planet ... I want to see Les drive him out of the SEC

 

I though Tyson bit off Holyfields ear?

 

OMG ... I'm in meltdown now:hihi:

Germans bomb Pearl news at 11

 

Lmao