https://babylonbee.com/news/scandal...s-reveals-that-people-are-paid-to-play-soccer U.S.—Despite the U.S. Women’s soccer team’s stunning performance in winning the World Cup, there is a giant pay gap between them and the less successful men’s team. This has caused a huge outcry, as many Americans are now baffled that anyone is paid to play soccer. ... Theories on how soccer players are getting paid range from tax money boondoggle to mob money laundering scheme to ISIS plot to get Americans to do a useless thing like kick a ball around instead of activities that actually help the economy like hauling lumber or driving an Uber.
https://cnmnewz.com/2018/06/19/soccer-player-suffers-career-ending-boo-boo/ Doctors initially thought the injury was just an ouchie, but after examining the player more extensively, they gravely concluded it was in fact the dreaded boo-boo. Boo-boos are responsible for more early retirements from the sport than any other injury, including oopsies, bump-bumps, and owies. “We’re not optimistic,” an official World Cup doctor said in a press conference. “I’ve seen lots of boo-boos in my day when players fall down and go boom, but this one is pretty severe. That other player must have been running within four or five feet of him on the field when he spontaneously flipped onto his back and began grabbing his leg, screaming in pain from the boo-boo.” “Poor little guy,” he added, shaking his head. The medical expert stated that doctors were working 24/7 to minimize the damage, treating the boo-boo with kisses and a whole barrage of Dora the Explorer Band-Aids until the player’s sniffles go away.
A Senate bill introduced today by a Democrat (shocked, I'm shocked I tell you!!) would cut off federal funding for the 2026 World Cup (US hosting), until the soccer gender pay gap is closed. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/senate...6-world-cup-until-womens-team-gets-equal-pay/
https://babylonbee.com/news/womens-soccer-team-sues-to-overturn-unjust-law-of-supply-and-demand "The oppressive, misogynistic law of supply and demand has conspired against women for years," she said. "More people want to watch men's soccer, so the men make a lot more money than we do. This is a clear example of systemic inequality that has been enshrined in economic laws for centuries."
Why do the women have to play the game with the same clock as men? Women tennis players make as much as men and they only play the best 2 out of 3 sets while the men play 3 out of 5.
