ahem.... *waits for crowd of gathered reporters and tf'ers to settle* i know you are excited, but your attention please... as you all know, sabanfan has accepted the nomination for president on behalf of the tf conservative party. the nominee will be along to answer questions and make announcements any time now. i know you are all eager to support him and ask questions, but the nominee is a busy man. he has a tee ti... meeting, he needs to make. besides, its a long campaign season, and mr sabanfan will have plenty of time to discuss issues. all you have to do to understand his stance on things is read free speech alley where his words of wisdom can always be found. mr sabanfan, the podium is yours....
Blitzkrieg Howitzer from CNN. Mr. President, let me get right to the point. America seeks guidance for three important questions to which effective answers have never been found. How do you intend to answer . . . Do I look fat in this dress? Do these shoes go with my outfit? Do you think she is pretty?
Expect a visit from my campaign manager's (Okie Rahm)henchmen. My VP candidate is Shane and I am looking for a Chief of Staff. Liberals, even those who profess to be moderate, need not apply. Yes, and the beard doesn't help. My platform includes tax credits for disposable razors. Brogans go with anything. When I'm President we will have "Flannel Fridays" in the White House. If you're referring to Okie Rahm, yes. But her presence at last weeks tailgate had nothing to do with her current (ahem) position.
Hannity - A Great American I'm not looking for balance. It's going to be the Festivus Airing of Grievances from the get go.
Don't step out of line short round. Water boarding is childs play in this here administration. We will have your jibletts in a mason jar quicker than you can say aclu.
Giblets, but that's not important. What Veep Shane is trying to say is that we will entertain protesters in the WH basement.
the racist atheist block of the sabanfan supporter party is going to request that the influence of all fox news characters be minimized. perhaps we could replace their quotes and ideas with more intelectual ideas, perhaps from milton friedman or thomas jefferson instead of hannity and beck. the ideas would be similar excpet not delivered by a toolbag idiot.
