Mississippi St - LSU Week #4 Game Thread

Wow thats funny

 

I'm laughing my ass off reading this thread. I know, I'm shallow.

 

Ok, so those of you that have military experience will know that this is true.

I said that as a D.I. all my asian kids were known as "hop-sing" well the a.k.a's didn't stop there.

Each platoon had a floor, and someone had to keep track of all that paperwork (digital) so we would always pool the platoon and find out who had the most experience on computers. Guess what his name was from that day forward... Yep. He was known as Bill Gates.

The smallest dude in the platoon had the unfortunate duty of keeping the latrines stocked with shit tickets, the cleaning closets full of supplies and what not. He was known as the "House Mouse"

There was always one that looked like someone from a movie or a TV show, had a dude that we called "Shrek" still don't know his real name. First time I laid eyes on him I said "Holy SHIT its Shrek" and that is what he graduated as. My gunner for my 2nd tour in Iraq looked just like Ned from the Simpsons so he was Ned. Hell, I'm not sure what his real name is either. If I saw him today I'd say "WTF Ned" and he would say "Hey Sarge" That is just how shit rolls.

Damn good times. I fucking loved being in the military. I'd do it all again from day 0 if I had the chance.

 

Yeh you DI's have all sorts of little mind phuk games. We had a fat kid jump off the cattle truck 1st day we got to our training battalion, he was known as tons -of-fun for a while, graduated pork chop. I almost shit myself tho when I heard a DI refer to a guy as a broke dick.

 

Yep, the "broke dicks" always have a few of those. Want to go see the doctor because they were feeling sorry for themselves.

Here is how that conversation went with me.

Private: Drill Sgt, I need to go to sick call

Me: What the fuck for private?

Private: Drill Sgt, I sprained my ankle

Me: Well shit, do you think that asshole has some magic dust that can unsprain it? No Private! get your damn shoes on and get your miserable ass on the street and get ready to run.

 

One cycle we had 5 kids named Jackson in the company. Anytime we wanted some entertainment we'd just hollar "Give me the Jackson 5" they would all run up to us and start singing. Loved that damn job.

 

Exactly how shit went too. Besides TMCs were shit anyway, all he would've gotten was a damn ace bandage (if he was lucky) and a bottle of orange horse pills Ibuprofen.

Only trainee I ever saw get sympathy from the DIs was a kid in 1st platoon, we were lining up for formation after breakfast, and he just fell out screaming... ended up having 4 damn kidney stones they had to break up.

 

Yep, my other line was

"Look the phuck around private, this is a training base, do you know what that means? That means they are training doctors, they don't know shit. Now get your shit on and get on the cattle car so you can learn something"

 

I met a guy once who looked just like Peyton Manning and his name was Donny Osmond.
It was in Fayetteville, R Kansas

 

In boot camp, I ripped all the skin of the inside of my right palm on a pull up bar. The corpsman put some purple chemical on it ( still don't know what that shit was)
In any event it hardened the soft tissue and allowed my hand to heal. the DI told me that the navy haf ruined my sex life.