Mark Madden says Sandusky case will get much crazier

he has a family to feed. he will have to move forward as any family man must.

he cant curl up into the fetal position and wash it all away with tebows tears like urban meyer. he doesnt have enough bank yet.

 

FIFY

 

"Hey Sandusky....pass the soap"

A letter to the State College community: Steps can be taken toward happiness, healing


Dear State College: Please accept my prayers for your peace and healing. Life will get better! Light beats darkness. Positive beats negative. Good beats evil.
I’m writing with the hope of helping the collective State College community and its survivors take the steps many successful survivors take on their way to recovery.
In 1987, Joe Paterno was the reigning Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year and national championship coach when I landed what I thought was a dream job on his staff as a low-ranking graduate assistant.
The players and the State College community were exceptional. I worked with many great athletes, including All-American Steve Wisniewski, who now coaches the Oakland Raiders with my offensive line coach from Brown University, Bob Wylie.
I played and coached at Brown and had a few NFL tryouts. I also had a unique high school football experience. I co-captained the top-ranked team in New Jersey and was a three-year starter on three undefeated state championship teams. My mother succumbed to melanoma during my senior high school season. I was recruited by all the Ivies and service academies, and I received several Division I scholarship offers.
I am also a survivor of early childhood sexual abuse. My family was in crisis, and a perp neighbor, feigning concern, directed his assault on me when I was 10. I was fortunate. I grew early, stopped the predator and got help. But the three years of trauma took a toll. I continue to work with a specialist to remain grounded, to receive joy in life and to help others overcome trauma and loss.
I pursued coaching out of college to help kids like my high school coach, Ted Monica. My involvement in sports and good coaches helped me realize my potential and to overcome adversity.
It’s reprehensible if the coaches I worked with at Penn State thrust and or allowed comparable trauma on innocent kids. My experience with Penn State and with sexual abuse gives me a unique perspective to comment on the tragic situation unveiling itself in Happy Valley. Life gets better!
The steps I, and most survivors, use to integrate their past traumas include revealing secrets and combining fragments of one’s personality with licensed, highly regarded and trusted professionals. Survivors store their secrets in compartments, and the only way to open these compartments is by sharing these secrets with a trusted professional. But trust is a huge challenge for survivors. It is built when one person knows another won’t allow the person to be hurt when vulnerable.
Predators do just the opposite: They build false trust with feigned interest, gifts and gestures to confuse their victims. They then exploit this trust for their own deviant desires.
The victim believes everyone who expresses interest or concern is setting them up for abuse. The goal in recovery is to share secrets and to combine all of one’s parts to live as one whole, functional, person with the process to this outcome being assisted by trustworthy and competent counseling professionals.
Often, sexual abuse survivors become frozen, or compartmentalized, by the extreme sexual assaults they experienced as children. If they don’t open and melt these compartments, the compartments keep them from moving on and living a fulfilling life. Tragically, without help, many victims end their lives early. With professional help, they can live productive lives.
Another step is to separate facts from opinions to identify cognitive distortions — fears and criticisms cultivated by the perpetrator and the experience can undermine one’s ability to live an autonomous and empowered life. Victims often inaccurately believe they are subservient and dependent on someone more powerful.
Healthy survivors separate facts from opinions and live in the moment, feeling empowered and in control of their destinies.
My time at Penn State was great regarding my classes, but not as happy regarding the football program. I was a sincere graduate student. The program projected an academics-first image, yet demanded players and grad students prioritize football 24/7.
Paterno was a bully and control freak. He picked on the staff members and banished gifted players who did not buy into his persona. He seemed a master spin doctor whose image shed a far greater shadow than his actual character.
The parallels between Paterno’s kingdom, the power and control he wielded over his minions and the very lax and deceptive response he made in 2002 to allegations that his prized assistant had been seen sodomizing a child in the showers, and the Catholic Church’s power, control and deceit in covering up its massive sexual abuse scandal are striking, yet not surprising to me.
I worked on the other side of the ball from Jerry Sandusky, but found him very talented with kids, albeit a bit more grabby and touchy with the many young boys surrounding him and his nonprofit program, The Second Mile. It appeared he had boundary issues. Memories of this now make my stomach queasy.
I never observed Sandusky committing sexual misconduct during my year and a half at Penn State.
In addition to power and control dynamics among the staff and Paterno’s powerful presence in the community, a crazy tradition at Penn State was the coaches showered together after each practice and game. We never did this at Brown or at the University of Rhode Island, and my coaching friends never experienced this on their staffs.
After a few practices, I decided to shower at home. It was one of the many things at Penn State that made me realize there was something strange about the program and its staff.
I left my Penn State assistantship a bit early to pursue a master’s degree in architecture. The disparity between Penn State’s image and reality soured me to major college coaching.
A third step is to identify destructive behavior patterns (submissive or aggressive) fostered by these distortions and to choose more positive actions and outcomes with better plans in the present moment. It is important for survivors to recognize the source of their actions so they can consciously choose better actions. The better outcomes foster better actions and the constructive-behavior cycle grows stronger.
Survivors have the choice and free will to not repeat the cycle of sexual abuse and to take positive actions in the present moment.
In my heart, I believe I would have attacked Sandusky when I was a graduate student if I had seen him abusing a young boy in the showers. I then would have taken the boy to the authorities and the hospital.
Most pedophiles were abused, but only a small portion of sexual abuse survivors repeat the cycle. The behavior is deviant and not natural. Thus, it must be learned. However, as with psychopaths, some folks may be born with this deviance.
Once a person chooses to repeat or to perpetuate the cycle of sexual abuse, the behavior appears to become a compulsion and there is no way to stop. Some pedophiles have assaulted thousands of children. Let’s hope this is not the case for Sandusky.
The key is to identify victims and to intervene with constructive counseling and positive role models before their trauma plays out destructively against themselves or others.
Pedophilia is not sex. Sex is an act between two consenting adults, involving people in the same peer group. Like rape, pedophilia is an act of power and control perpetrated by a person with more physical, financial, emotional, psychological or status power and who controls and dominates a victim with sexual acts.
The victim is a person in a subservient role or place in his or her life. The acts may offer some confusing enjoyment to the victim, but there is no love or concern or compassion involved. The acts are perpetrated to fulfill the deviant power needs of the perpetrator.
All guilt, shame, dishonor and disgust belong with the perpetrator, and with those who perpetuated the acts by keeping them in the dark, like in lonely athletic complexes.
The reactions to childhood sexual abuse are learned as a coping tool when one is a child, are often ineffective and may seem hard to break. However, these are learned reactions and can be relearned, leading survivors to happy and fulfilling lives.
The last step is to integrate a healthy sense of self with other, healthier people to maintain an integrated, whole, functional, mature perspective.
I am very sorry for your pain and I am tired of perpetrators and their accomplices riding off into the sunset with bodies in their wakes. Although it’s difficult to discuss my abuse, my efforts are directed at helping survivors.
If you are a survivor or know a survivor, I hope this offers some comfort, direction and hope.
If you know or suspect someone is a predator, please do everything in your power to stop this and to report him or her. If you know or suspect a child is being abused, please report it to legal authorities as soon as you know.
State College, your collective soul is in my prayers. I hope this letter gives you the opportunity to look at the men who hurt you in a more honest light and to realize there is a path to healing and to new happiness.
I look forward to seeing your progress.
Sincerely, Matt Paknis
Matt Paknis directs Matt Patkis Leadership Development, an executive- centered coaching program in Massachusetts. Readers may write to him at [email protected].






http://www.centredai...-happiness.html

 

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Very disturbing interview indeed !!!

Wow.

And that last guy they interviewed...ugh. A Penn State sports historian. He said something along the lines of: "I can't tell you what I'd like to do to him. He's ruined Penn State."

Ruined Penn State?! He ruined those kids lives! Who gives a sh*t if he ruined Penn State. The Penn State fans just don't get it.

 

he can ruin both. if this pedo ruined LSU i would be pissed he ruined LSU. the kid thing is understood at this point.

cmon sancto-steve, step down sometimes.

 

You're right. I see your point. I would be pi$$ed off too. if he ruined LSU.

I guess my comment was more about the incredulousness of people not being much concerned for the victims...at least as portrayed by the media. I know the media sensationalizes the reporting of this and most people are more concerned about the kids that the football program, but this kind of abuse is more common than most people think. I bet you that this probably happened to someone you know.

I also guess my reaction to this mess has been influenced by how the Catholic Church handled the same type of abuse. Wasn't anything learned by that? I heard a lot of Catholics more concerned with public perception than with lives being ruined.

Being Catholic I guess that I'm Sancto-...definitely not Santo-.

Maybe I did overreact. I do have strong feelings about that subject.

 

we all do. id probably be right there with you if I had the stomach to actually read the case.

it wont do me any good. minor details are already too much.

 

Bruce Feldman (@BFeldmanCBS)
11/14/11 10:27 PM

How much more bizarre can this thing get? RT @DanWetzel: At 49, Sandusky's lawyer impregnated a 17 yr old. tinyurl.com/dycjnhb

 

Penn St. hires Louis Freeh to investigate



PHILADELPHIA -- Former FBI director Louis Freeh, tapped to lead Penn State's investigation into the child sex-abuse allegations against a former assistant football coach, said his inquiry will go as far back as 1975, a much longer period than a grand jury report issued earlier this month.
Freeh was named Monday to oversee the university board of trustees' internal investigation into the abuse allegations that ultimately led to the ouster of longtime football coach Joe Paterno and university president Graham Spanier.
Freeh said his goal was to conduct a comprehensive, fair and quick review. His team of former FBI agents, federal prosecutors and others has already begun the process of reading the grand jury report and looking at records.
"We will immediately report any evidence of criminality to law enforcement authorities," said Freeh, who has no connection to Penn State.
Penn State has faced criticism since announcing that its internal investigation would be led by two university trustees: Kenneth Frazier, the CEO of pharmaceutical giant Merck & Co., Inc., and Ronald Tomalis, the state secretary of education.
Faculty members on Friday called for an independent investigation of how the university handled abuse allegations, and the faculty senate endorsed a resolution asking for an independent investigation.
In announcing Freeh's appointment, Frazier stressed the former FBI director's independence. Freeh will be empowered to investigate employees up to and including the board of trustees itself, Frazier said.


Penn State Nittany Lions hire ex-FBI director Louis Freeh for investigation - ESPN

 

Family member said among new cases



One of the two new allegations of child sexual abuse against former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was made by a family member, Sandusky's attorney Joe Amendola said, according to The Patriot-News of Harrisburg.
Amendola said the incident is alleged to have occurred before Sandusky was arrested earlier this month on charges he molested eight boys over a 15-year period, but was not brought to the attention of authorities until after Sandusky was charged, according to the report.



Amendola said that claim stems from a Sandusky family dispute. He characterized the other claim as an example of people trying to mimic other allegations and "jump on the bandwagon," The Associated Press reported.
"That doesn't surprise me because we believe there would be a number of copycat allegations, people who really maybe not even had direct contact with Jerry but (are now on board) to try to jump on the bandwagon," Amendola said.
He said the accusations, should they result in charges, would be vigorously contended.
Pennsylvania's Children and Youth Services agency opened preliminary investigations of the two new cases against Sandusky within the last two months, The Patriot-News reported Tuesday. If the claims are deemed credible, they would be the first allegations made against Sandusky by persons who are still children, according to the report.






Family members going to the authorities...it's getting weirder.