Hotty Toddy - It Hast Been Thus Said

Received this email and thought I'd share - author unknown

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It Hast Been Thus Said

And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.

And for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James, of the house of Meredith, of the nation Cush, didst attempt to enter the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good; and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys.

"THOU SHALT TASTE VICTORY ONCE MORE, THEN NEVER AGAIN SHALL THOU BE FIRST AMONG THY BRETHERN."

And after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness.

And a man named Elisha, who was called Archie, didst attempt to lead them back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the fruits of victory.

Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, lasting a generation, until Eli, son of Archie, arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the warriors from Eden.

But Eli fell backwards. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be the meaning of this great tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddies cried in despair "The invaders from Eden hath carried off the West Championship! Our curse is still upon us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."

And the Hotty-Toddys didst then drive their king, David the Lesser, of the house of Cutcliffe, into the wilderness. And they said amongst themselves, "We shall anoint a leader from amongst the people of Eden, for then we shall avenge ourselves upon them."

And they didst search until they found BeBe, a native of Eden, who didst lead a band of pretenders near the ocean. And BeBe didst remove his shirt and declare that the Hotty-Toddys were now to be called Wild Boyz.

But BeBe had led only pretenders who had done battle with the weak, and a season of discontent fell upon Oxfart. And armies from every direction didst humiliate the Wild Boyz, even scholars of the north, and the cowboys of the western mountains, and the men on the near north, who had few teeth. And at the harvest, the invaders from Eden didst return, and didst utterly defeat the Wild Boyz once more.

 

WORLD F'ING CLASS POST!

This needs to go in the archive section for all time.

 

:rofl: :lol: :rofl:

 

Thanks for sharing this. Whoever wrote this is a very talented creative writer.

 

Bravo!

Great read! :thumb:

 

:rofl: Bebe (Orgeron) is just white trash from Cutoff ... this is great ... despite the clear blasphemy ... what means "utterly defeat" :lol:

 

Great post:thumb: ! How about revelations for the NC?:yelwink2:

:geauxtige :geauxtige :geauxtige :geauxtige :geauxtige :geauxtige

 

If an earthquake swallows LA ... and Miami & Penn State lose ... maybe

NC for LSU in 2005 ... muahahahahahahhahahahahahahha

Cue in video of Phat Phulmer devouring a dozen Krispy Kreme crullers for a snack and the scoreboard after the LSU/TN game ... get the net, reality bites.

 

:thumb: