if they are saying something, they are lying, unless they are talking about totally non-priesty topix like what they had for lunch. everything they tell you about jesus and forgiveness and the universe and whatever else, all lies.
Everything. It's less than a tithe, the bargain of the year. Offering. It's an offering to The Lord Thy God. Do you not have a ranch in the heartlands, a waterfront mansion in New Orleans, LSU season tickets, a rainmaker husband, and a business that you can run in your flip-flops? Are you not the most popular poster on a major website? All these blessings for 1.5% off the competition. Direct deposit makes it easy and worry-free. The Church of Red has very low expenses and a high pass-through rate so you can be assured that your offering goes mostly to the diety, directly to his account where he can pick it up whenever he wishes.
No, I meant the diety, it's one of my Holy titles. It means "watcher of calories" . . . expensive, you know.
