ESPN: So savvy, so in the know! In overdrive, sucking up to Alabama. ESPN has spoken. We should stay home and prep for W. Kentucky, since there's no benefit to showing up in Tuscaloosa. I'd like to set Mike loose in their phucking studios: CATEGORY// ESPN STAFF / MIKE VI / ADVANTAGE ________________________________________________________________ WEIGHT // 180-200# vs 550# /Advantage: MIKE AGGRESSION // +1 vs +96 /Advantage: MIKE B.S. OUTPUT // 87% vs 0% /Advantage: ESPN TOP SPEED // 13.5 MPH vs 35 MPH / Advantage: MIKE DEFENSIVE WEPPS // Attorneys vs Teeth & Claws / Advantage: MIKE OFFENSIVE WEPPS// Snooty mouths vs Teeth & Claws /Advantage: TIE NAD RIPPING // <1% CHANCE vs 99% LIKELY /Advantage: MIKE LSU HATER // 80% vs 0% /Advantage: ESPN VALUE OF HOME // $350K vs $6.5M /Advantage: MIKE PANTLOAD FACTOR* // 1.8 vs 0 /Advantage: MIKE INTIMIDATION // 0.5% vs 50-100%** /Advantage: MIKE CREDIBILITY // 10-22% vs 100% Real /Advantage: MIKE APPEARANCE // Sportcoat vs Pro-Combat All Weather /Advantage: MIKE BIAS vs LSU // 79% vs NEVER /Advantage: ESPN FAVORITE FOOD // QUICHE vs ANY RED MEAT /Advantage: MIKE PRIMARY OPPOSITION // CBS vs Old Age /Advantage: TIE *amount of browning of clothing in a face to face encounter with opposition, in pounds of excreta. **50% at rest; 100% when provoked.
Yes! But they are missing the better story. CLM is a subtle genius, and is at least a match to the coaching skills of Nicky S. But unlike "Saint Nick," CLM is a coach who is loved and respected, rather than feared and respected. The way CLM conducts himself on the field (and off) convinces me that, were I a player on this team, I'd march to he*l and back for him if he asked! Given two teams as closely paired as LSU & Bama, the presence of Les Miles is what makes me comfortable* about Nov. 5, 2011. :helmet::geauxtige:helmet: *As comfortable as one can be, sitting on the edge of one's seat! LOL!
How dare you? Mike's a picky eater ... he wouldn't eat any of these ESPN arseholes, they would just give him the drizzling shights:hihi:
Thanks Gyno. One of the best laugh out loud post. You probably heard Tide chant this week. "Save your gas Bama's going to whip your a$$." I will be watching game with 2 tiger fans and 2 bama fans. Hope I get to gloat! :LSU231:
