EMPEROR IS OFFICIALLY DEAD! Emperor Saban Shitrus Champ ORANGE CHUNK CHAMP NICK SABAN DETHRONED FROM THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL ELITE SAYS ... When life deals you Shitrus, you make Shitrus-Aid ... Come to Alabama boys and we’ll grind your bones like Tua ... LONG LIVE THE NEW SEC KING
That last orange in the Shitrus Bucket went to Saban’s new 7-star QB Recruit for 2021 class Lemuel “Spearchucker” Jones Dual Purpose QB, 6-10, 320 lbs Lemuel runs a 4.8 forty yd dash Throws the football 110 yards Cannot be tackled by 3 men Lemuel is from Eastern Cameroon near the Congolese border and Rumor has it that his great grandfather, a chief of the Masa Tribe once ate bush meat (gorilla) and had to kill an aging Lord Greystoke (Tarzan) to do it. Alabama is also rumored to have offered to House and feed the entire immediate family of forty-seven and provide them an ELEPHANT CAR WASH family business in downtown Tusk
