Amos and Andy would be banned today.

Gives new meaning to the phrase, I'm going to grab a cold one. Lol

May not have been "screwing" it, rather, using a food item to avoid having to touch his pecker. I always ask the wife to save me the chicken nuggets she doesn't eat so I can use them for this very reason. French fries work too but- like eating with chopsticks- take practice.

I don't even want to know.

What did I just read and can I unread it?

The mcrib offers a little built-in lub, if needed.

Just... damn.

I think you meant lube and I believe it was a block of lard or something similar

You know way too much about this to not be involved.

He's relaying the McDonald's story.