Steps to becoming a good Democrat

Discussion in 'Free Speech Alley' started by CParso, Jun 16, 2004.

  1. CParso

    CParso Founding Member

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    I figured with all the recent democrat bashing, I'd throw a little something in.

    >Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking (about it) and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate...

    >>1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal
    funding.

    >>2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

    >>3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

    >>4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    >>5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs'!

    >>6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

    >>7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

    >>8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

    >>9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

    >>10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

    >>11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start
    wars.

    >>12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the constitution.

    >>13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

    >>14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
    important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

    >15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

    >16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

    >17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

    >18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in there in a New York minute you could).

    >>19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    >>20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

    >>21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against prayer and saluting the flag in school have far more rights than the majority who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our young children
     
  2. Mr. Peabody

    Mr. Peabody Founding Member

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    Excellent post!
     
  3. Sourdoughman

    Sourdoughman TigerFan of LSU and the Tigerman

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    I'll sum it up in a couple of words.
    You have to be rich and inherit the money only.
    That pretty much sums up the Kennedys and John Heinz Kerry :thumb:
     
  4. islstl

    islstl Playoff committee is a group of great football men Staff Member

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    Yes heaven forbid if you actually bust your ass earning your way up the socio-economic ladder.
     

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