Post a hunting joke

2 men were fishing by a bridge from their boats when a funeral procession passed over the bridge. One of the men fishing took his line out of the water and took his hat off out of respect. The other man saw him do this and told him he was impressed with the respect he had for the deceased. The man replied, "well, I was married to her for 50 years."

 

3 buddies all went to deer camp every year on opening weekend of bow season. It was tradition. One year, it looked like they were going to break tradition when one of the guys'--Bob--wife wouldn't agree to the trip, insisting he spend the weekend with her shopping for new curtains. The other two were disappointed and went on without Bob. But to their suprise, Bob was at the camp when they showed up. "How did you manage that?" they asked.

Bob said, "Well my wife come up behind me wearing her most revealing negligee and covered my eyes and said 'guess who.'"
"THen she said, 'take me upstairs.' So, I did. "
" Then, she lay down on the bed and said 'tie me up.' So, I did."
"THen, she looked at me and said, 'now, do whatever you want.'"
"So, here I am."

 

This ain't a joke. It's the truth.

I went dove hunting in Mexico a few years ago. Hadn't fired a shotgun in 35 years. Anyway I am firing away out in the field when I run out of shells. I had shot 10 boxes. Told the bird boy to yell at the guide to bring me some more shells. When he shows up he says "damn, you done shot those 10 boxes? How many birds you got? 3, I responded.

 

Not exactly a hunting joke but still funny.

Boudreaux was showing off his new deer rifle to Thibodaux and they got to talking.

Boudreaux was complaining that he knew his wife, Clotilde, was having an affair with Pierre.

"I want to shoot that Pierre in the nutz and, I'm sad to say, I want to blow Clotilde's head off," Boudreaux says.

"Well," says Thibodaux, looking into the woods through the scope, "if this thing is loaded I can do that right now with one shot."

 

Boudreaux and Thibodaux were riding down a country road and came across a young doe that had tried to jump through a barbed wire fence but had gotten tangled up. Boudreaux got out of the truck, dropped his pants, and began to "strap it on" the young doe. He turned around and smiled at Thibodaux and said, "Do you want some of this?" Thibodaux said, "Hell yes." Then Thibodaux ran up to the fence, dropped his pants, and stuck his head through the fence saying, "my turn,,,,,my turn."

 

Boudreaux & Thibodaux

Boudreaux killed a big buck one day and asked Thibodaux if he would help drag it back to camp; each man grabbed a rear leg and started pulling after about 10 minutes Thibodaux say
'Hey Boudreaux" I hear if you grabs the deer by the horn it's a whole lot easier to pull; so Boudreaux and Thibodaux change ends and start pulling from the horns about 20 minutes pass when Boudreaux looks over at Thibodaux and say you know Boudreaux it is a lot easier to pull from this end; Boudreaux say it sure is but we keep getting futher away from the camp.

 

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.

Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."