One of the best collegefootball articles of the year

Wolf04 · Sep 13, 2005

At least i thought so. Once i got near the end i was in stitches.

http://collegefootballnews.com/2005/Columnists/Fiu/COW/Cavalcade_of_Whimsy.htm

But he’s 255 pounds and runs a 4.3 40, so he's still a beautiful man … It’s always a scary time when a player is down on the field for an injury of any sort. When a player is knocked out or there’s some sort of neck injury, the mood turns truly somber. Since all the focus is on the player for an extended period of time, and there’s a ton of time to kill, they always turn to the sideline reporter to find something nice to say. Just once, I’d like to see the instant profile done on a guy who wasn’t bucking for sainthood.

”And for more about the injured player, we throw it down to Holly Rowe. Holly?”

”Well Mike, according to fellow players and coaches, you really couldn’t find a bigger jerkwad in the history of the school. The mood on the sidelines is understandably gleeful considering the pure disdain they have for him. According to several players, he has hit on all of their girlfriends, cheats on his exams, doesn’t use his turn signal, leaves the toiled seat up, grabs the last slice of pizza without asking if anyone else wants it, and orders a water and then fills it up with Sprite at the drink machine. In the media guide, his listed hobbies are kicking puppies and passing wind around blind people. Unfortunately, he appears to have movement in his arms and legs, but as you can see, everyone is huddled on the sidelines in prayer hoping the ambulance crashes into a bus on the way to the hospital.”
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:grin: :hihi: :lol: :rofl:

You’re going to run a play anyway … I want to see a history of the play called after a player gets carted off the field on a stretcher. Because everyone feels bad, it seems like it’s always a basic, boring running play. A flea-flicker would absolutely work.
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Absolutly. BTW, why does nobody run the flea flicker anymore. Come on Les, just once or twice this season, preferably against Florida. With our running game, its an almost guarenteed TD, provided the reciever doesn't drop it.

5) Overrated: Vince Young’s game-winning touchdown pass ... Underrated: JaMarcus Russell’s game-winning touchdown pass
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Thought that was a bit of a nice touch :thumb: :geauxtige

locoguano · Sep 13, 2005

yeah.. I always liked COW...
You gotta love the Sienfeld reference...

The C.O.W. airing of the grievances followed by the feats of strength
The top ten things I’m sick of this week …
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C.O.W. shameless gimmick item … The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world
1) Overrated: Trev Alberts as a Colt … Underrated: Trev Alberts as a second banana
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Rece@2022 · Sep 13, 2005

the best part was the lou holtz stuff... ”You can NOT come up with a (bleep)ing viewpoint like that again. You (bleep)ing do it over, and over, and over again and I will NOT tolerate it anymore. If that (bleep)ing horse(bleep) analysis gets us beat on Saturday, you will not be here Sunday, I promise you that. Now get out of my (bleep)ing studio.”

TejasTiger · Sep 13, 2005

If this is the first time you've read one of Fiu's columns---and it looks like it is---you'll be happy to know the dude brings it like this every single week.

Knows his football cold, too.

COTiger · Sep 13, 2005

I read COW every week. This column was one of his better ones. :thumb:

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One of the best collegefootball articles of the year

Wolf04 Founding Member

locoguano Founding Member

Rece@2022 Founding Member

TejasTiger Founding Member

COTiger 2010 Bowl Pick 'Em Champ

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