have any of you had to deal with housing elderly parents or in-laws.....i'm going to be enclosing my garage and florida room to take in my in-laws....any ideas on how best to set this up (i.e. a comfortable layout for them w/facilities) would be appreciated as well as information on if medicare or medicaid will cover any in-home care....thank you.
Snorton, I am having to start looking into this possibility now. My Dad is almost 80, and although still able to live alone, I am worried about his health problems. Also, his driving skills are somewhat decreasing. I too am thinking of closing in our carport to make him a small, yet comfortable suite. It will have a complete bathroom, bedroom, and sitting area for his recliner and TV. My biggest concern with all of this is just how do you approach your parent and tell him that he shouldn't live alone again and relocate him 200 miles? He loves his home, city, and the people there. Please share ideas with me too.
Forgot to add: Medicare will pay for Home Health Services if the patient is bedridden. I'm sure there are other reasons too, but for long term assistance, I'm not sure. My father in law received such services for the last year of his life. A nurse would come in once a week to draw blood, etc., and an aide would come for 3 days a week for bathing and personal grooming. Hope this helps.
first off you don't tell him because like my dad has told me "nothing gets you madder than your kid telling you what to do" (meaning of course role of parent and child is still firm in their minds)....things i looked at were first selling their home and using the money to buy another home a few doors down in my neighborhood. this couldn't work because their in-home care costs $60k and their income is only $40k (he's not bedridden so they have to pay for in-home care 24/7).....that's when we took their home equity and used it to pay the in-home care and let them live there as long as possible until the money ran out....trying to make it a "transitional" process......now everyone is resigned to the fact that they now must live here.....so what i'm saying is to try to make it a transitional process if you can.....maybe say to your dad "hey we would really like for you to be near us because (and then be honest with him on the reasons)......work with him and get him involved so he feels he is having an impact on his destiny (i.e., my mother in-law is going to work with us on how best to lay-out their living area).....may save alot arguing back and forth......hope this helps......it don't ever get any easier does it.
You need to watch out on that medicaid or medicare stuff they could rule that you moving your dad in is income to him. You need to dot all your i's and cross all your t's before you spend any money. My mom moved in with my grandmother a few years ago to help her and my grandmother started giving away her assets to us a few years ago. I think you should look into that also because sooner or later somebody is going to come looking for income from you Dad to make sure everything is on the up and up. I dont want anyone to think that I am an expert in any advise I give but this is what we did you make your own moves.
Thanks guys, this is really helping me a lot. Especially the part about bringing up the fact that WE think he can no longer live alone. Dad lives in Cut Off, LA, a small community but he has been there for 52 years, therefore his home. I am in BR and it is tough for me to oversee his daily activities. I do have an aunt and uncle, cousin and niece that helps him, but I feel it is my responsiblity to do it. I have all of my family here (4 children) here in BR, my husband's job and my career here, so it's not like I can just up and go help him at a given moment. It's tough, the hardest thing I have ever faced. I know I must be gentle with the notion of telling him or coming to the conclusion that he should move here. Thanks Deaf Valley for the info about the financial situation. My oldest daughter is a Financial Consultant and will help us with that end. It makes me sick that we have to do that because it is his money and has worked for it.
