New Joke Thread ... it's time for one

Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by red55, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. fanatic

    fanatic Habitual Line Stepper

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    This dude is just actin a fool. He found a niche clowning on people's shoes. It's hilarious. Sorry you were impacted by your co-workers freaky fetish.
     
  2. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james

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    The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday...

    It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

    The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

    Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough, and Jane Dough, who has one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

    Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

    Aunt Jemima(Pearl Milling Co) delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

    Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

    Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

    The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
     
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  3. mctiger

    mctiger RIP, and thanks for the music Staff Member

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    That joke reminds me of this song:
     
  4. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village

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    You came back to give us THAT
     
  5. kluke

    kluke Founding Member

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    Its a long joke - -took a while to write
     
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  6. GiantDuckFan

    GiantDuckFan be excellent to each other Staff Member

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    i think it has deep undertones
     
  7. shane0911

    shane0911 Helping lost idiots find their village

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  8. APPTiger

    APPTiger Founding Member

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    Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.

    The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny pokes her in the ass with a pin and she yells "Jesus Christ!" And falls back to sleep.

    A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams "my god!" And falls back to sleep.

    Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. Johnny pokes her in the ass with the pin again and Sally screams "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!" The teacher faints.
     
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  9. gynojunkie

    gynojunkie "Pooties R Us"

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    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

    Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

    Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

    The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

    "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
     
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  10. Kikicaca

    Kikicaca Veteran Member

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    Was his name Cecil Collins?
     
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