Been married 9 years. It's been hard. We've been through a lot. More than I care to mention here. But we've battled through it all and I'm glad. I've learned a lot through these years. Learned about her and how to deal. Have had a lot of firsts with her and her with me... talking about experiences. She blessed me with 2 absolutely adorable sons. My mini-me's. So despite her troubles, our troubles, I continue to stick it out. And for many good reasons. Quitting is something I just cannot do. Call me stubborn or crazy. Most of the time we're best friends. Some of the time we're at each other's throats. But I'm proud we've kept going. Nothing has made me prouder than being a dad. Nothing has made me look inward more than being a husband and a dad. I have certain things I believe in and certain things I fight for. My marriage and my children are two of those things. I've learned that you're not always going to get instant gratification/ instant success. You have to keep grinding. Keep working. Give everything you've got. Just like I've told all my baseball teams over the years. If you do those things, you'll win more times than not. And when you don't win, you'll be satisfied knowing you did everything you could.
I believe there are several reasons why marriages fail --- 1.) The expectation of marriage. I believe too many people go into marriage thinking "It's going to be paradise". It's not. It's work. Just like everything else. You must pour good things into your marriage if you want good things in return. Just like batting practice. You want to be a .500 hitter, but you gotta take a lot of swings in order to get that good. 2.) Communication. I believe many couples don't take the time to really communicate with their partners. Keep secrets. Sometimes, you just have to be open and honest. Couples must talk about their beliefs, feelings, goals, etc constantly. 3.) Sex. Yep! I think, in a lot of cases, women don't understand the importance of good, hot, awesome sex. I also think as men, we make it way too important. I'm guilty! 4.) Respect. Become their best friend and treat them that way. 5.) No training or preparation!!! We spend so much of our lives at school, college or vo-tech learning a skill that will set us up to be able to make a good living. But we never get any kind of marital training. We go into marriage blind and ignorant. I'm sure there are many more. These were just a few that jump out at me.
I have always been amused that the only marriage training that I'm aware of is put on by the Catholic church. An organization run for the last thousand years by aged celibates.
Au contraire. I am pretty sure that your sons are getting excellent training by growing up watching you and your bride. Parents are always the best and most significant role models. If you think marriage and commitment are important and worth working at, so will they. Nonsense. Every religious organization that I'm aware of offers pre-marital counseling. States such as Florida and New York offer/require it before obtaining a marriage license. There are dozens, if not hundreds of classes offered online or in most urban cities. There are plenty of sects and rabbis within the Jewish faith who require pre-marital classes. It's there....you just have to look for it.
Uhhh, . . . . . . Why would I do that? The only reason that I'm aware of the Catholic training is that I dated a Catholic divorcee who thought it was a farce.
I once dated a Catholic woman who was legally divorced but still married in the eyes of the Catholic church. It seems that the church don't recognize divorce so you have to get you ex to say some kind of shit like it was never consumated so that they will grant an annulment
I just read a really interesting article on this. The premise is that this line of thinking is flawed. While human life expectancy is longer now, that is largely a product of much better infant mortality rates than people living longer. Marriages of 30, 40 and 50 years were not uncommon at any point in human civilization.
