Have you ever thought about writing anything? I don't know...a book, a pamphlet, a collection of every random thought you've ever had? I check the free speech alley most of the time just to read your comments in every thread. I find myself laughing out loud with people looking at me... :redface: Anywyas, I agree with a lot of your comments, and count me among somebody who would definaltey buy a book you wrote! It would definatley be a great mixture of comedy, common sense, and would be great for a heartless guy like me! :hihi:
im glad somebody reads what i say, thanks. the first books will hit the market in 2008. no, what was it.
From Saturday Night Live transcripts: [ open on footage of wine country ] [ dissolve to interior, corking room, as Giuseppe enters with tour group] Giuseppe: Right this way, folks. You're now entering.. the corking room. This is where.. the final step in the bottling process happens - where we prepare all the corks for all the bottles of Brunello that you saw earlier. Marcello: Any questions? [ a hand is raised ] Yes? Female Tourist: I've always actually wondered about that. How do you cork the bottles? Marcello: Excellent-a question, ma bella. As you can see, we are -asoaking all of the corks in this room right now. These three guys right here are some of the most talented cork soakers! Say hello, you all cork soakers! [ the three cork soakers turn around and wave happily to the tour group ] Male Tourist: Now, I'm curious - how does one become a cork soaker. Giuseppe: As we-a like-a to say, "Cork soakers are born, not made." Marcello: Yeah. Luigi here was simply born to soak cork! Come say hi, Luigi! Luigi: I love-a soaking the cork! I could-a soak the cork all night long, if they let me! I want to-a soak two corks at once! Female Tourist: So.. are all corks the same? Marcello: No, no, no.. Cork Soaker #1: I like-a to soak the big-a, thick-a corks! Luigi: I like-a the long-a, skinny ones. Cork Soaker #2: I like-a the dark-a ones. Giuseppe: The great-a thing about the cork soaking, is that while you are-a soaking the cork, you can also.. massage-a the grapes, until the cork is ready. [ holds up a bunch of grapes ] Marcello: That's right. Female Tourist: So, how did you learn to soak corks? Marcello: You know, I'll never forget the first time I soaked-a cork. I was fifteen, in-a summer camp. Female Tourist: You know, I've noticed that all the cork soakers are men. Do women make good soakers? Giuseppe: Oh, yes! Yes! Monica, Carmella - come in here! Marcello: Come in here. [ Monica and Carmella enter scene ] Giuseppe: Monica.. tell-a these-a nice-a people.. how you soak the cork. Monica: Well, ever since I started soaking cork, I'm the most popular girl in school! Marcello: It's-a true - men come-a from all over just to watch her soak a cork. And Grandma Carmella still-a soaking cork at age 87! I got to say that, too! Carmella: [ speaking with her gums ] It's crazy! Ever since I lost my teeth, people tell me I soak the cork better than ever! Female Tourist: Wow, this soaking corks really seems like a family business. So.. does your wife like soaking cork? Marcello: Well.. she used to, when we were dating. Now, not so much. Male Tourist: Um.. could you teach me how to soak cork? Giuseppe: You know.. when-a you walked in here.. I could-a sworn you already an expert cork soaker! Male Tourist: [ flattered ] Thank you! I dabbled in college. Um.. but, let me ask you this - do you ever run out of corks to soak? Marcello: Oh, yeah, I'll never forget this one that was unusually large. And I thought Giuseppe would need extra cork. Giuseppe: And I thought Marcello would need more corks. Marcello: So we soaked-a each other's corks at the same time! [ to Giuseppe ] Do you remember that? Giuseppe: Can you imagine that? Me-a soaking his cork.. while-a he soaked mine? Female Tourist: This is all really so fascinating. So, do you think that one of you could teach me how to soak corks? [ the cork soakers cheer excitedly, each rallying to be the one to teach the beautfiul tourist the art of their craft ] Giuseppe: Oh, I'm sorry. Come with me, ma bella. I will let you soak-a my cork as long as you like! [ they depart from the group ] Marcello: Cheers! Cheers! [ fade ]
This is a classic...right up there w/ Alec Baldwin as Mr. Schwetty, the confectioner, and the two public radio ladies doing the informercial about Salty Schwetty Balls.
