This a weekly college football report that my good freind and fellow tailgater Carey "Wee" Montz has been putting out since last year. I thought that I would allow ya'll the pleasure of being able to read it and enjoy it! So sit back crack open a clod brew and be prepared to have some football knowledge dropped on your candy ass! Just when you thought to and asked yo' self, self, "How can Wee's college football report can't get any better and what else can he possibly talk about that I don't know or haven't heard somewhere on TV, print (that would be newspapers for the JJ's of the world), radio, or multi-media", BigWee is back at it again; Dotting the I's and crossing t's as always with a wealth of football knowledge, the self-opinionated kind with a little bit of fact to back it up. The likes of which is never unbias (cough, cough), and always takes both sides of every issue (cough, cough, cough). Sorry, I have a cold. So, no need to beat off around the bush. Let me get started as I always do by "hollering" at the already infamous well known originals and the soon to be well known supporting cast, who have all proven they can hang and will rank right up there with the top players before it is all said and done. Let me start off by saying that regardless of many of the outcomes on Saturday, it was a great end to the regular season of college football. LSU and Arkansas battled it out on the bayou for about a half before LSU took over late in the second quarter and continued it's domination over the Piggly Wiggly's with a 21 point third quarter. Then on Saturday, it seemed like every game had something to do with the national championship picture. Even the Hawaii and Bama game, if you can believe that one, which of course you should because I said last week that it would have an effect on the BCS standings in terms of who is #2, LSU or USC. And although every outcome, with the exception of Georgia winning, favored USC, I still would like to remain as optimistic as possible that LSU will stay be playing football in New Orleans come January 3rd. To make it all easier, I would like to send a memo to USC asking them to nut up and lose this weekend to Oregon State. To which they would repsond, "hell no, you stupid coonass." To which I would write back with valid reasons why you should nut up and lose to the Beavers. (HaHa, nut up to a Beaver) 4 Reasons why USC will lose on Saturday: 1.) There is already one team in the Sugar Bowl with some sort of red in the color scheme. Having you there would make it worse and make the Superdome look like one big period. 2.) You don't deserve to be there anyway. You have beaten Washington State. You lost to Cal. LSU would have beatend Georgia twice (hint on what my game prediction would be), Ole Miss, and Arkansas (who beat Texas). You beat Auburn as did LSU, but we beat them while they were in the midst of a 5 game winning streak and have since sent them in a tailspin. You beat them when they overhyped and hadn't played a game yet. We would have shut them out as well, but we called off the dogs after the coin flip. 3.) The whole state of Louisiana will be against you. Not to mention OU would kick the living crap out of you and your overrated defense. You do not want a shitload of pissed off LSU fans in the quarter the night before the game making fun of your stupid "surf's up dude" accents and calling you the USC Lifestyle's (Get it. Trojans - Lifestyles...fuck you, I thought it was funny). 4.) You have fate working against you. You have Charlie Mac and JB (Jeff Boss) on LSU's side. You cannot count dead Hollywood actors as being in your corner. You have Crip's ridiculous omen that him breaking his ankle....I mean the crosswind that made him break his ankle was a sign that he was to stay home and watch LSU in the grandaddy of them all...Cause we all know God watches over those LSU alums. And last but not least, there is me. I have a friend getting married January 2nd. You guessed it. Fiesta Bowl night. Which leaves me with a choice. See, I have high blood pressure and cannot be put in that situation of making such a difficult decision. This can only mean one thing. No matter how hard you try, it is irrelevant because LSU will be playing in the Superdome against OU for the national title. Okay, now that USC understands what it needs to do come Saturday, allow me to give a quick rundown of ALL games on Saturday, and the one on Thursday, and what each means in terms of LSU's BCS Championship chances. MAC Championship game: Thursday, December 4 6:00pm on ESPN: (14)Miami(OH) vs. (20)Bowling Green: Why in the holy hell does this game bear importance on the BCS? To put it quite simply, I have no fucking clue. Something about UGA staying in the BCS top 10 if Miami(0H) were to lose. Okay, I have sort of a clue. I personally think it is fucking stupid that this game bears any significance on LSU's Sugar Bowl chances. And to make matters worse, I like Miami and I don't want to pull against them. Luckily, I won't have to because we already know USC is going to lose. In terms of this game, this will be a great QB matchup between MOH's Ben Roethlisberger and Bowling Green's Josh Harris. The pure passer versus the mobil, option type QB. I look for a good game between these two with plenty of points being put up. It wouldn't be a MAC title game without plenty points. As far as predictions go, I will stick with RedHawks of Miami on this one, still wondering as to what role this game has on LSU. Miami(OH) 37 Bowling Green 31. Notre Dame vs. Syracuse: The seeds for USC's demise will begin to be planted in this game. If, by some miracle, USC wins, a Syracuse W against the Irish will help aid in terms of SOS for LSU. I know it will be hard for Dawg and Crip to pull against their beloved Irish, but you must. Why would you want to pull for them anyway? They suck. Then again, why would you want to pull for the school that produced Marvin Harrison and Donovan McNabb? I stress that you think in terms of LSU and do the right thing (Spike Lee). The 'Cuse takes this one, 28 to 17. (18)Boise State vs. Hawaii: Does Hawaii ever play on the road. I mean, shit, they even get to play in their own fucking bowl game every year. They are the Notre Dame of the deep southwest United States and must go down, and must go down hard. Your Boise State Broncos will do just that to the Hawaii Jeff Gordons...I mean the Rainbow Warriors. 34-20. ***Side note***Did anyone see the Hawaii game versuse Bama last Saturday? What the fuck was that crazy dance that player was doing in the locker room before the game. And how did you like Hawaii's Kamala looking mascot on the sidelines. Football tradition reigns supreme out there. Oregon State vs. (2)USC: Shit, I thought they were playing this game in Oregon. Not to worry. Even better, they get to blow their chances of playing for the NC in front of their own fans. All the more better. On a serious note, amidst what I said earlier, USC will have to be really shitty to lose this game. I hope I have done enough to put the "gri gri" on 'em. I'm talking like Tulane shitty they will have to be. Oregon State...decent team, but will have to play out of this world to beat USC. Hopefully, the Beavers will pop the Trojans and force USC to make many mistakes. Of course, you know which route I am going with this one. The table has been set. It is now time for the Beavers to step up and do what's right. Fuck what the national media wants, fuck what Trev Alberts has to say, fuck Disney who owns ABC, who owns ESPN, who kisses USC's ass, and fuck USC. You are going down faster than JJ in a parachute. Beavers 27 USC 24. Okay, we are just getting started here. Before I move on to the Big 12 and SEC Championship games. Let me first comment on the Army/Navy game taking place this weekend. Sorry, I have not seen any game footage on either team. I will have to resort to putting this in Tulane terms for ya'll. Army lost to Tulane 50-33. Navy beat the Greenie Weenies 35-17. You do the math. Oh yeah, Army is 0-12. Navy is 7-4. But when rivalry games take place, you just throw records out the window. But 0-12 is staring me in the face like a pair of big titties at The Gold Club. Navy wins this one big. 38-14. More importantly, let me get all sentimental and shit for a second. This one is more about the men and women fighting for our country in Iraq right now. God Bless those crazy bastards!!! And I mean crazy bastards in a good way. Speaking of crazy bastards, do you honestly think K State has any shot of beating OU this weekend? Big 12 Championship: (13 Kansas State vs. (1)Oklahoma: 7:00pm ABC: I see no reason why OU doesn't come out and run the Wildcats out of the Alamo Dome. In addition, I have seen nothing from K State this year to make me think otherwise. Because of emotions and all that other crap, this game has the possiblity to remain close for about a quarter...of a quarter. Seriously, if K State plays way above their head and OU makes a few mistakes, the Wildcats may keep this one close for a little while. However, OU is too strong. This will be the highest ranked team OU has played since Texas. As a matter of fact, this may only be the second ranked team they have played. That doesn't matter. They are good. I think OU's defense may be tested a bit, but there offense is too strong and barring about 8 turnovers by their offense, OU should win this one bye 14-21 points. 38 - 20. Boomer Sooners. SEC Championship: (5)Georgia vs. (3)LSU: 7:00pm CBS Georgia Dome: Time for the Tigers to put or shut up. Another chance to kick UGA's ass and to prove that their win over the Bulldogs back on Sep. 20th was no fluke. More importanty, it is a chance for the Tigers to show the world they deserve to be in the Sugar Bowl just as much as USC does. But I am sure, the media will just come up with excuses for UGA just as they did back in September. Bottom line here is: I think LSU is light years ahead of where they were when they played UGA the first time. The running game is better, the passing game is better, the special teams are better, and if you can believe it, the defense is much better. I look at UGA and I don't see much difference from the team that came to Baton Rouge back in the fall. While they are still strong on defense, UGA's offense is not where many thought it would be. And I think LSU's ability to exploit that is essential to LSU being successful in this football game. First off, and I know this is like beating a dead horse, but if UGA can't run the balle effectively, David Greene is in for a world of hurt. Nick Saban has blitz packages only Bill Bellichek(sp?) knows about. He is one of the best gameday coaches I have ever seen at LSU, if not the best. He knows to get his team prepared. For LSU, it all comes down to offense. I we remain balanced and run the ball with our two freshmen RB's who UGA hasn't even seen yet, we can control this game with our balanced passing attack. If Mauck struggles ala Ole Miss and UF, this game will remain too close for comfort. Bottom line, I think we can beat the tar out of UGA, given that we come out and execute like I know we are capable of. The defense will be stout. I have no doubt about that. If the offense performs to the best of its ability, we will have many voters questioning whether or not LSU or USC should be #2 in the polls. LSU 21 UGA 13. LSU Sugar Bowl bound? Only time will tell. GEAUX TIGERS!!! I think most would agree that a top 5 at this point in the season is moot. Nothing has changed from last week and nothing will change this weekend. While, I am not done writing about football just yet this year, I just want to say it has been fun entertaining ya'll this fall. Look for a Bowl Preview edition sometimes next week And before I go, now that we are in the month of December, let me give the first official plug for Doobie Fest VI, named for the great ad campaign of the Bud Ice penguin. For those that do not know, DoobieFest is a New Year's Eve party held at a friend of mine's house here in L-town. The likes of myself, Pootie, HBK Brad, Ro, and the Clancy's have all attended. As a part of the original Doobie Nites, I am extending an invitation to the others who subscribe to my report, and I promise nothing less than a hella good time will be had by all. There will be food, beer, lots of Crown Royal, and an indoor bar to protect us from the possibility of cold weather. Come sober, leave drunk...or if you stay long enough, leave sober like me because you would have run out of alcohol a long time ago. Diddo paper!!! In the words of Forrest Gump, "That is all I have to say about that." Have a nice day!!!! BigWee ===== "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof, BEEFCAKE, BEEFCAKE !!"(Eric Cartman)
It wasn't me that wrote this. It was a good friend of mine and the granddaddy thing I gotta ask him bout that cause when I read it I said the same thing. But he meant the Sugar Bowl!
