Alright, now we're getting some good stories. Surprised SF hasn't spilled his guts yet, probably too many to choose from. :wave: Remember, plain ole funny stories are welcome too. Here's one. Our first house was wood frame up on concrete piers. I spent lots of time underneath it replacing water and drain pipes with pvc plastic stuff. One lovely day I'm under there to tie the washer drain into the existing kitchen sink drain. I've cut the pipe, and studying things to line them up before glueing it together. I hear wife footsteps on the wooden kitchen floor above me. To my horror I hear kitchen sink water turned on. I holler "HEY I'M UNDER HERE!". Faucet turns off as I get dumped by water coming out the cut pipe, which turns my surroundings into a mudbath. Since I'm under the house, I must crawl out attracting every bit of mud/dirt/webs until I emerge into "stand-up world". Wife is standing at the back door, looks at me and says "sorry". She had the ever-present female look of "it's your fault for not telling me you were under there".
Ok, time to get up the nerve. If I can tell people mine about water polo... Come onnnnnn.... (peer pressure:hihi
A very special Thank you to whoever started this thread. As some of you may know I'm in the army. I had to fly into Yuma, Az today and fighting the super bowl outbounds in Phx was a complete zoo. Spent all day in airports dealing with delayed and overbooked flights. Finally make it to my hotel and unpack only to find out that I'm missing my damn pants. Guess they are still laying on the bed where I left them. Gonna be real special when I show up to the meeting in the morning wearing my LSU T-Shirt and a pair of jeans. Embarrassing yes, but I have an approved retirement so the most they will do is laugh at me and call me a dumb-a$$, both of which are deserved at this point.
Mine is a true story of a former girlfriend in college. We were in New Orleans and she was on the phone with a friend. I was listening to the high brow conversation and was floored. Here's the transcript: GF: Cool, the mailman just came Friend: No way, he just delivered here 10 minutes ago GF: How did he get from Metairie to Uptown that fast? Friend: I don't know! Yes, its true. They BOTH thought that New Orleans had one mailman. No wonder they go postal, they have to hump it and deliver mail to a half a million people every day. It was a true "Here's your sign moment" That was ammunition for me for years. Maybe that's why I caught her banging her high school boyfriend behind my back?:huh:
hmm lets see. Another embarassing moment. There was the time when a old girlfriend of mine and I were staying at my parents house when we were in town for a wedding. This was around Christmastime and my grandmother was also staying at the house. We were not married so my mom would not let us stay in the same room even though we were basically living together. So she was given my bedroom and I got the couch. So we go to the wedding and get pretty liquored up. We get back to my parents house. Not being able to fight the hornyness, we end up having sex in the hallway bathroom on the countertop. Midway through the deed my Mom walks into that bathroom (never figured out why she was even near that bathroom.) She quickly leaves and we sit there stunned. After laughing at it for a while we continue. After about 5 minutes, my grandmother comes into the bathroom, notices what going on and quickly leaves. That was the end of the night.
I worked at a comedy club when I was in college. Lots of funny and embarassing things happened during the three years I worked there, as you can imagine. Two embarassing incidents that stand out: Our wait staff had this "theory" that certain people always ordered certain kinds of drinks (yes, we profiled). Frat guys drank draft, sorority girls (bow heads) always ordered strawberry daquiri's with extra whipped cream, professional older women drank white wine, the politicians always ordered name brand scotch usually on the rocks, blue collar drank Bud, and older black gentlemen liked cognac and coke (this one especially drove the bartenders nuts, as they saw the mixing of the two as sacrilige). One night, when it's really busy, I'm walking by someone else's section, and this very well-dressed, older black man stops me. The show is at the mid point, the headliner has just got on, and it's LOUD, so I have to bend down to hear what he says. He says, "I'd like the Negro stuff." It's really really LOUD, as I said, and I'm busy and I have a bunch of refills that I need to put in, so I'm confused and think I didn't hear him right, and am like, "WTF," so I ask him to repeat himself, and he says again, "The negro drink, I'd like another order of that." I just cannot understand what he wants, so I say the first thing that pops into my head, "Courvoisier and coke?" He gives me a look like, "WTF", and points to the menu and says, "This negro stuff, right here." He's pointing to Cordon Negro. Sparking wine. I look at the people at his table, and they're all dressed up and there's a graduation hat and presents all in the middle of everything. I get out of there quick before he wonders why I thought he'd want a cognac and coke. :nope: On a smaller scale, we had a hypnotist at the club on a regular basis. One night, he has "hypnotized" audience members out in the crowd acting like animals or something. He snaps his fingers and tells one of them to do something...exactly what, I didn't hear because I was busy taking empties off of someone's table. But what the hynotized guy did was turn around and lift my skirt up, so that a flashed the entire audience. All in all, I didn't find this as humiliating as the other incident.
