So you don't have to look it up, I'll provide the most appropriate translation, at least for LSU fans: "There was Eli, sitting on a seat by the wayside watching, for his heart trembled" (NKJV).
Inspirational! Absolutely Inspirational! 1 Samuel 4:11 And the SEC Championship was taken; and the son of Eli Archibald Manning, Eli, was slain by the Tigers. 1 Samuel 4:12 And there ran a man of Birmingham out of the SEC front office, and came to Oxford the same day with his clothes rent, and with earth upon his head. 1 Samuel 4:13 And when he came, lo, Elijah sat upon a seat by the wayside watching with his headset on: for his heart trembled for the Heisman Trophy. And when the man came into the city, and told them the bad news, all the city cried out. 1 Samuel 4:14 And when Eli heard the noise of the crying, he said, What meaneth the noise of this tumult? And the man came in hastily, and told Eli. 1 Samuel 4:15 Now Eli was ninety and eight years old; and his eyes were dim, and his fingernails were CHEWED TO THE QUICK. 1 Samuel 4:16 And the man said unto Eli, I am he that came out of the SEC Front Office, and I fled today out of the bedlam. And he said, What is there done, my son? 1 Samuel 4:17 And the messenger answered and said, Arkansas has fled before the Tigers, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the Razorbacks, and thy son Eli is dead, and the Heisman Trophy will never come to the house of Manning. 1 Samuel 4:18 And it came to pass, when he made mention of the Heisman trophy and its' loss to the house of Manning, Elijah Archibald Manning fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, and he died: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had waited forty years. Amen!
The tribe of Hotty-Toddy didst decorate their tables with centerpieces, and use the finest dishes before their soldiers went into battle, and they didst utter strange chants that were an abomination to the LORD; and the LORD saw that it was no good. So after James of the house of Meredith didst enter the seminary at Oxford, and the Hotty-Toddys didst rise up with great vengeance and furious anger, the LORD didst curst the Hotty-Toddys thus: "Never again shall thou be first among thy brethren! Thy warriors will often taste defeat after the harvest!"
