Fuck that! Every hissing sound I hear I'll think is a deadly snake.

Here you go

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/king-cobra-snake-missing-florida-found-orlando/

Elvis is back in the building. Who puts a microchip in a fukin snake?

By law they have to

Good law. Now go round up all the rattlesnakes in the woods and water moccasins in the swamp and put chips in them.

only in exotics kept as pets. After this they should require a damn GPS chip in them as well

Or better require that the snake be dead before it enters the country.

Anyone who owns a snake should be microchipped, probably moreso than the snake.

FIFY

Don't they all drive fiats?