From http://www.maximonline.com/sports/male_sac/preseason_05.asp Jobu may not always be right, but he's always entertaining.... 4. LSU (9–3 overall, 6–2 SEC) Drama: With Nick Saban's demotion to the Miami Dolphins, Les Miles wins the coaching lottery, inheriting a cupboard stocked fuller than Karl Rove's. He retains offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher, bringing in would-be Nebraska skipper Bo Pelini on defense. Exes and Hos: The Tigers return 17 starters, not counting the loss of RB Alley Broussard to injury. But LSU has more backfield depth than Jennifer Lopez, and also returns its top six receivers. Who's gonna ply these beasts? Three blue-chip QBs are competing: JaMarcus Russell started four games last year, Ryan Perrilloux was the nation's No. 1 recruit last February, and Matt Flynn is white. LSU's was one of only two defenses (NC State) to finish in the top 10 against the run and the pass last year. Scheduling Conflicts: With exception to Alabama, the Tigers' road slate is cream cheese, but they host Arizona State, Auburn, Tennessee, and Florida. Kinda Like a Poorer, More Southern… Arthur 3. TEXAS (11–1 overall, 7–1 Big 12) Drama: Mack W. Bush gets re-elected as head coach despite losing last October's primary for the fifth straight year. The Oklahoma quagmire notwithstanding, there's hope that a corner's been turned following the Longhorns' Rose Bowl victory last January, Mack's biggest to date. Exes and Hos: Cedric Benson's off to Chicago to stop enjoying football, but the biggest loss is LB Derrick Johnson, who departs a defense that surrendered 108 points over its last four games. QB Vince Young is as fast as lightning, but as accurate as the tide forecasts in Sumatra. Still, as long as Mack Brown doesn't invent a competing quarterback to create another controversy at the position, Young should improve on his 12-11 touchdowns-to-interceptions ratio. Scheduling Conflicts: Brown is just 1–12 against top-five competition, and has Ohio State and Oklahoma early. Fate being the emasculating bitch that she is, expect him to finally beat OU only to lose to Texas A&M, breaking five-game streaks against both. Androgynous rock star equivalent: KD Lang 2. SOUTHERN CAL (13–0 overall, 8–0 Pac-10, TK) Drama: I understand why you you've picked the Trojans No. 1…sigh…again, Sporting News, Sports Illustrated, coaches, AP writers, teamsters, freemasons, and freedom-hating insurgents. They're gorgeous. They're loaded. And they screw like champs. But all that overlooks the fact that this team struggled offensively last year against UCLA (106th-ranked defense), Stanford (70th-ranked defense), and Oregon State (fat cheerleaders) with Norm Chow calling plays. He's now gone, along with assistant head coach Ed Orgeron, yet this team has spellbound the nation the way only the Boston Red Sox and colored rubber wristbands can. Exes and Hos: Heisman QB Matt Leinart could have left early for the big money, but decided to stay for the big money. Only, he could lose his title to the nation's actual most outstanding player, teammate Reggie Bush. What's truly important, however, is that Pete Carroll's awesome tan retains its rich, honeyed hue. Scheduling Conflicts: Nebraska was this dominant 10 years ago, but wasn't publicly fellated by the press and "pundits" the way SC is. Christ, Hitler didn't get this much pub at his peak. This Team Blurb is the Equivalent Of: Any U2 album recorded after 1991. 1. MIAMI (9–3 overall, 5–3 ACC) Drama: Preying sneakily among college football's elites like the Chinese economy, the 'Canes are always a threat to wreck nightclubs and national championship runs. Beside USC, this is about the only team you could blindly pick No. 1 every preseason with a straight face, as I've clearly done here. Exes and Hos: Miami's as talented as Southern Cal and loses the player most credited with its mediocrity the last two seasons, QB Brock Berlin. Kyle Wright, only a sophomore, replaces him, but Bernie Kosar and Steve Walsh won championships in their first seasons at UM surrounded by less. Mosses Tyrone (RB) and Sinorice (WR) barely scratch the sweaty surface of this offense, which upgrades at nearly every vacated position. Meanwhile, 10 inhumans return to last year's 13th-ranked scoring defense, including DTs Baraka Atkins and Orien Harris, and the Williams sisters, Leon and Willie, at middle linebacker. Scheduling Conflicts: A couple of September road trips to Florida State and Clemson followed by a home date with Colorado, and the Hurricanes can call it a season until a trip to Blacksburg in November. Corresponding Major League Millionaire: Alex Rodriguez
I'm sure some cruel and unusual disciplinary measures are in order for me when the comp geeks get to the office this morning. A little warning please when posting maxim links for those of us half-asleep on the night shift and using work computers, I'm busted......
Actually, I don't know to what extent our internet access is monitered. It's widely rumored to be extensive, I'm sure I'll be able to blame it on someone else....again :yelwink2:
How Miami does against Florida State in the first game of the year will pretty much define the probable ACC champion this year. USC will be matched up with ANY team that is undefeated, if they themselves run the table. I hate to say it, but an undefeated WAC school against USC would not surprise me.
Schedule-wise, I think Miami may have a better chance of running the table than any other team in the top ten. The ACC is staring to look like the Big 12... a two team race... with the winner dancing.
